Bloody Ad of the Day.

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Product: Expert Whitening. Ad agency: Canvas, Cape Town. What do I think of the ad? Who gives a fuck (It sucks), it's Friday. True story: I once cut the tip of a finger off trimming comps. (It was all hands on deck for a next morning 9:00am new business pitch.) Here's five of the most bloody, gruesome ads from the last few years.

Cute Dog Pic of the Day.

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Fuck you, it's Friday.
Previously: a Dachshund wearing chain mail.

Jewish fraternity's rush flier is very Jewy.

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Fliers on the University of Rochester, NY campus for the AEPi frat. That advice ain't free either, Frosh. Thanks Erica. Previously: Dubai gym ad laughingly uses Auschwitz visual.

Today's Ads That'll Make Art Directors Touch Their Genitals.

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Oh gawd, look at the precise Photoshop work. Ooh, baby babe-ee. You probably can't leaf (sorry) your thingy alone. The campaign is for Plant for the Planet, via the Hamburg office of Leagas Delaney. Finish up. OK. Well, the thing is, this exact same idea showed up last week via a Brazilian agency, and via the same artist (oops). But then, there was this from 2010.
Not so hard now, are ya? Not to worry: here're many more ads worthy of your auto-eroticism.

Can you guess why this Hungarian movie poster has been banned?

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It's for the film Shame, starring Michael Fassbender's penis (nsfw) and Carey Mulligan (released in the US last month). Poor pen(is)manship? Previously in Jizzvertising: Sperm clinic bag • Durex business card • Museum of Sex poster.

I'm Newt Gingrich, and I strongly approve of this ad."

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The "Grandiose" Newt this week boasted about putting a colony on the Moon by 2020. He will rename Earth's satellite "Newton", after Sir Isaac (not himself). And Lestoil will enjoy a huge resurgence as it becomes the official all-purpose cleaner on Newton. That pesky Newton dust ain't gonna clean itself, subservient housewives. Previously: Cheating husband Gingrich endorsed by cheating husband website.

"Mad Men" teaser poster again gets punked/improved.

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At the Carroll St. stop, Brooklyn.
Ad guys were sharks back then.
Previously.

Super Bowl craigslist ad of the day—the saddest thing I've ever read.

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Caveat, of course, if it's real. If it is real, he's toast. Or, maybe he's gay, and he's just trying to meet a hunky football type? As a hunky jock myself, I'm suspicious. Four previous craigslist ad of the day posts here.

The internet-famous Audi vs. BMW billboard battle has a new addition.

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Using a blimp is lame, BMW (unless it has "new car" smell).
Still. Now it's your move, Audi. Via Santa Monica, California.

This Samsung Galaxy Tablet parody commercial is hilarious.

I almost always hate parodies; it's a fuckload easier to riff than create, That said, this is my kind of parody. I don't know the who or how. Maybe it was made by pissed-off Apple fanboys in reaction to the new pathetic, pedestrian Samsung spots mocking said fanboys. But what it is, is funny. Another parody I liked: this seriously NSFW Skittles video.

NYC artist greatly improves new "Mad Men" teaser subway poster.

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FIXED, as they say.
It definitely needed more ass.
Snapped at an unknown subway stop.
The original.
update: found a better shot here.

Perceptions of Ad Agency Employees.

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Pretty harsh and sexist on the Account Executive.
Four more stupid ad agency infographics here.

The most entertaining fire safety commercial ever.

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Ad agency: Try, Oslo.
Similarly:
• the most entertaining gum commercial ever.
• the most elaborate cell phone commercial ever.
• the strangest light bulb commercial ever.
• the most insane bathroom cleaner commercial ever.

NYC gym ad laughs at Paula Dean's upcoming death.

(scanned from the New York Times) Is she an idiot? Yes. Does she deserve criticism? Absolutely. But this kind of vulture marketing is fucking tasteless. But then, NYSC is known for it.

Justin Timberlake Quote of the Day:

Said Timberlake, just named "creative director"(?) of Callaway Golf, in Tuesday's Wall Street Journal:
"The new (Callaway) marketing will give the sport a nice injection of kickassery."
Golf. Now and forever. Not. A. Sport.
(stick tap to Chris Collision)

This will be the best Super Bowl commercial.

You dicksplashes can have all your celebs and dogs wearing sneakers and talking fucking babies and slutty Danica Patricks. I'll take this perfected branded spot for 1st Bank. Look for it. Then, remember how it stood out amongst all the noise.
Ad agency: TDA_Boulder. update: the ad will only run in Colorado.

New Atheism billboards ruined by comical typeface, ugly layouts, stupid baby.

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Two boards that just went up this month in Minnesota. Note to the organization: Please get an art director to help you in the future. Yellow? Comic Sans-like type? Whose baby is that? Your chairman's? What is it with the atheists and their shit-ugly billboards? Jesus, it's not like the theists' billboards set the bar very high.

Cumming soon: the Fleshlight iPad case (nsfw-ish).

(click image, via) Yes, it's exactly what it looks like. And yes, according to Gizmodo, it really is cumming soon. Apple fanboys? Finally, you will be able to fuck your iPad; or more realistically pretend-fuck your favorite porn star, I guess. Welcome to Porn 3.0. What A Fucking World. Gilbert Gottfried will be ecstatic.

60 seconds of food blowing up in slow motion in a microwave (it's an ad).

The point being, Microwaves ruin everything. Video is for Moe's Southwest Grill. I've never heard of them, but apparently they never use microwaves. It's a selling point, I guess? But how's the food? Brandon from the agency says the action was shot with a Weisscam at 500 frames per second. Ad agency: Focus Brands, Atlanta. Related: Would you buy a microwave that looked this weird?

New Domestic Violence ads: Man knocks out seven women with one punch.

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So, a nice visual trick to dramatize the "cycle of violence" via AWARE (Association of Women for action and research) in Singapore. Again, the onus is put on the woman to take responsibility in an abuse PSA campaign (like with this recent pulled date rape campaign). When you fear for your life, "stopping the cycle" is easier said than done (I have some tragic experience with this situation in my extended family).
View several more domestic violence print and video ads here.

Gabrielle Giffords resignation video. Believe in this pathetic, partisan country again.

New Google subway ad advocates burning beetles alive.

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This version of the ad was scanned from this week's New Yorker, but I first saw it on my morning A train ride yesterday. Yes, Google ads are now all over the NYC subway trains, as part of their new "good to know" campaign. They're starting to spend some big ad $s. I like the illustration style. But that mega-magnifying glass is going to scorch that poor beetle. Seriously, I think the ads are OK, nothing special. They do a decent job of elevating Google Search over other engines (Bing)—seemingly the goal of the campaign. Previously: Hey Look! Google's running very bizarre print ads in Turkey.

Simply the best outdoor ad installation ever produced.

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Many of you ad veterans have already seen this brilliant piece of work for Rimmel quick-drying nail polish, but about half of my readers don't work in the ad industry—so this is for them.
Back in 2009, JWT London placed these ad sculptures in front of Rimmel retailers in the UK. Then, once shoppers went into the stores, they were greeted by another smaller version of the installation near the Rimmel display case. Sure, there have been many cool-looking oversized outdoor ads (Two of my favorites: Mini-Cooper and Hot Wheels). But this one also perfectly dramatized the product's benefit.

The day Swanson TV dinners killed international cuisine.

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Actually, I don't know the day, but the year was 1967. Other old people from a poor-ish background are maybe familiar with the shit-mouth flavor of Swanson TV dinners. (Anybody eaten them lately? Have they improved?) But luckily for me, my parents never ventured into foreign territory. That Chinese slop looks like cooked dog and dog puke. Previously: Stouffer's turns spinach into a puke brick.

FOUND HIM!

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In the basement of a dorm.
Previously: Hipster Hitler found.

The best Nike Hiking ad I've ever seen.

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Of course, it's the only Nike Hiking ad I've ever seen. And, since it's got a phone number and calling hours, I have no choice but to assume that it's 100% authentic. Recently: The new Nike Kobe Bryant commercial sucks.

Logo Geeks—Time to drool like Homer.

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This has been around the world wide web a few times, but if you haven't seen it, look at it, and feel inadequate. It's supposedly just a conceptional logo, but Michigan State's golf club should totally steal it. Related: Here's another logo you'll wish you did.

David Ogilvy's best ever tip on writing copy...

#9. "If all else fails, I drink half a bottle of rum and play a Handel oratorio on the gramophone. This generally produces an uncontrollable gush of copy."
Similarly, I drink a half a bottle of Jack Daniels and play some mclusky on the SoundDock, and think of a bunch of sketchy ideas, and write down none of them, and then can't remember a fucking thing the next morning.
Read more of Ogilvy's 1955 letter on what a lousy copywriter he was on Letters of Note.
Previously: brilliant 1,909-word trade ad written by Ogilvy.

cRaZY Japan Ad Watch: The craziest...scrotum itch cream commercial ever.

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Kokan means Scrotum in Japanese.
Previously in: cRaZY Japan Ad Watch.

HANGOVERS. CURED.

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This is the best cure since Whiskey Toothpaste! Developed by Max Factor!

Bitch, do the laundry, and then blow me (print ad).

(click ad, via) Look at how we have evolved, ladies. Skirts have gotten shorter, wash cycles have gotten longer. Snapped in a storefront in Bath, UK. Previously: Crystal Light callously insults single women.

Amazing New YouTube ad by YouTube on YouTube.

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"Every ten days, a century of video is uploaded to YouTube."
Holy FUCK.
It's not a traditional "ad" really. But it's one powerful message. I hate infographics. But I love this beaut, just launched by Google. The video is just a teaser. Go to the OneHourPerSecond site for the truly mind-melting info, some of which I've screen-captured above—Nyan cat is your video guide. Are you watching, clueless TV execs? Did you read the recent New Yorker article, late-to-the game ad execs? Video below.
Related: Hey look! Bizarre Google print ads via Turkey.

Fucking craigslist ad of the day.

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Just come get this Richmond man's half-price cinderblocks, you fucking idiots. THEY'RE FUCKING CINDERBLOCKS, FOR FUCK SAKE. Man, do I feel this man's pain. Previous craigslist ads of the day: large fist paperweight • Free sex trampoline • looking for lawyer ladies who give both lap dances & legal advice.

Creative People! Whaddya think of these new Hot Wheels ads?

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The campaign, via Ogilvy, Budapest was released on Friday. And everywhere I've seen them, commenters are gushing—no GUSHing—out of every orifice with superlatives and climax fluid. You know what? I don't really like them! I do like the sets, and I do like the lack of product shots, but I don't like the stupid fake rats or the basic concept (here's the 3rd ad in the campaign). What do you think? Here's better Hot Wheels print ads, and here's an awesome outdoor overpass installation.

Funny gif of the day: Tonya Harding boxing a large penis.

  Previously funny gif of the day:
"Nobody Fucks with the Jesus."

"Shit Creative Directors Say."

As usual, an ad firm is way behind an already dead meme. Fucking awfully written. Via Tattoo Projects, "advertising and creative development company." They try to blame their interns for this in the video's description. They're not fooling anybody. Related: 11 official press photos of Creative Directors, from around the world, including one bearded, trucker hat guy.

Ever stepped in dogshit wearing sneakers? These ads are for you.

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New campaign for the Japanese edition of Sneaker Freaker magazine.
That's a lollipop jammed (hopefully via Photoshop) in that bulldog's butthole.
The magazine is (not) offering dog poop insurance. Here's the video which explains the (fake) promo, which is really just a way for them to track the campaign.
Ad agency: Ogilvy, Tokyo.
Related—two videos for DIESEL sneakers: woman's ass jiggles for 20+ seconds (sfw-ish) • big motorized sneaker chases down and kicks big motorized ass.

Designers! Whaddya think of these gross 7-Eleven ads?

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They're student ads via Miami Ad School/San Francisco art director Felipe Mollica. Some commenters at Ads of the World think they're disgusting. 7-Eleven's are disgusting! And their hot dogs and nachos are super disgusting. And these layouts are no more disgusting than this real 7-Eleven Slurpee ad. And they brand baby brand! They're definitely not right for the real world, but they're interesting.
Don't write me, Felipe, we have no openings.

Copywriters! Whaddya think of these new Lego ads? Clever? Too Clever? Not Clever?

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These ads are appearing in magazines on four consecutive pages. I get it, Pereira O'Dell (the ad agency): The copy is attempting to show the limitless mind of a child, and that what that mind is thinking often only makes sense to that child. But. The ads are not enjoyable—reading them made my head hurt.They're lazy. They could have been written in the same scattershot style, and made sense, had a better payoff, which would have been enjoyable. Your comments welcome.
Previous good Lego campaigns: Good • Better • Best.

Today's Blowjob Ad.

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Part of a new UK campaign for Nvidia's GeForce GPUs. That is the most realistic backview of a simulated gamer on warrior sword swallowing I've ever seen. Get my mind out of the gutter? Where do you think gamers' mind are most of the time? The second ad in the series, featuring a Sumo wrestler, isn't nearly as blowjobby (related).
Seriously, the visual doesn't sell "realism", it sells "large screen TVs".
Ad agency: Alecoppe Ltd., London.
Previously: The infamous PS3 ad with the boy with the thumb penis.

Rick Santorum wants you to CUM.

(via) That's one clunky phrase that creates one funny acronym. Part of me wants to believe Ricky is having fun with his Google legacy. But then, I remember, he's a fucking idiot. Anyway, he's already reached his money shot.

America, summed up in one photo.

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In the US of A, only about 39% of its citizens believe in the "theory" of evolution—that humans were not "created" less than 10,000 years ago—that all those various hominid "bones" were not planted by Satan. By the way, "Evilution" sign guy is promoting this fellow. Previous even funnier counter-religious protest sign here.

Wonder who controls the Internet? This guy.

(via reddit)
He recently took over for this guy, who is currently on vacation.

What would Beavis and Butthead look like in real life?

Incubuses (click images).
Created by makeup effects artist Kevin Kirkpatrick.
See more shots at Buzzfeed.
Previously: Beavis & Butthead brand Russian dumplings.