copyranter

BEST PEEPHOLE EVER.

2012-01-27T15:30:00.003-05:00

(Click, via reddit)
Previously: Best use ever of "Hello My Name Is..." stickers.

Bloody Ad of the Day.

2012-01-27T14:10:00.002-05:00

(click, via)
Product: Expert Whitening. Ad agency: Canvas, Cape Town. What do I think of the ad? Who gives a fuck (It sucks), it's Friday. True story: I once cut the tip of a finger off trimming comps. (It was all hands on deck for a next morning 9:00am new business pitch.) Here's five of the most bloody, gruesome ads from the last few years.

Cute Dog Pic of the Day.

2012-01-27T12:40:00.001-05:00

(click, via)
Fuck you, it's Friday.
Previously: a Dachshund wearing chain mail.

Jewish fraternity's rush flier is very Jewy.

2012-01-27T11:50:00.003-05:00

(click)
Fliers on the University of Rochester, NY campus for the AEPi frat. That advice ain't free either, Frosh. Thanks Erica. Previously: Dubai gym ad laughingly uses Auschwitz visual.

Today's Ads That'll Make Art Directors Touch Their Genitals.

2012-01-27T10:30:00.002-05:00

(click ads, via)
Oh gawd, look at the precise Photoshop work. Ooh, baby babe-ee. You probably can't leaf (sorry) your thingy alone. The campaign is for Plant for the Planet, via the Hamburg office of Leagas Delaney. Finish up. OK. Well, the thing is, this exact same idea showed up last week via a Brazilian agency, and via the same artist (oops). But then, there was this from 2010.
Not so hard now, are ya? Not to worry: here're many more ads worthy of your auto-eroticism.

Can you guess why this Hungarian movie poster has been banned?

2012-01-27T09:20:00.001-05:00

(click, via Buzzfeed)
It's for the film Shame, starring Michael Fassbender's penis (nsfw) and Carey Mulligan (released in the US last month). Poor pen(is)manship? Previously in Jizzvertising: Sperm clinic bag • Durex business card • Museum of Sex poster.

I'm Newt Gingrich, and I strongly approve of this ad."

2012-01-27T08:40:00.002-05:00

(click, from 1968, via)
The "Grandiose" Newt this week boasted about putting a colony on the Moon by 2020. He will rename Earth's satellite "Newton", after Sir Isaac (not himself). And Lestoil will enjoy a huge resurgence as it becomes the official all-purpose cleaner on Newton. That pesky Newton dust ain't gonna clean itself, subservient housewives. Previously: Cheating husband Gingrich endorsed by cheating husband website.

"Mad Men" teaser poster again gets punked/improved.

2012-01-27T08:15:00.003-05:00

(click, via)
At the Carroll St. stop, Brooklyn.
Ad guys were sharks back then.
Previously.

Super Bowl craigslist ad of the day—the saddest thing I've ever read.

2012-01-27T08:10:00.002-05:00

(click, via Buzzfeed)
Caveat, of course, if it's real. If it is real, he's toast. Or, maybe he's gay, and he's just trying to meet a hunky football type? As a hunky jock myself, I'm suspicious. Four previous craigslist ad of the day posts here.

The internet-famous Audi vs. BMW billboard battle has a new addition.

2012-01-26T18:00:00.004-05:00

(click, via)
Using a blimp is lame, BMW (unless it has "new car" smell).
Still. Now it's your move, Audi. Via Santa Monica, California.

This Samsung Galaxy Tablet parody commercial is hilarious.

2012-01-26T14:30:00.003-05:00

I almost always hate parodies; it's a fuckload easier to riff than create, That said, this is my kind of parody. I don't know the who or how. Maybe it was made by pissed-off Apple fanboys in reaction to the new pathetic, pedestrian Samsung spots mocking said fanboys. But what it is, is funny. Another parody I liked: this seriously NSFW Skittles video.

NYC artist greatly improves new "Mad Men" teaser subway poster.

2012-01-26T12:00:00.004-05:00

(click, via)
FIXED, as they say.
It definitely needed more ass.
Snapped at an unknown subway stop.
The original.
update: found a better shot here.

Perceptions of Ad Agency Employees.

2012-01-26T11:20:00.001-05:00

(click, via)
Pretty harsh and sexist on the Account Executive.
Four more stupid ad agency infographics here.

The most entertaining fire safety commercial ever.

2012-01-26T10:40:00.002-05:00

(via)
Ad agency: Try, Oslo.
Similarly:
• the most entertaining gum commercial ever.
• the most elaborate cell phone commercial ever.
• the strangest light bulb commercial ever.
• the most insane bathroom cleaner commercial ever.

NYC gym ad laughs at Paula Dean's upcoming death.

2012-01-26T08:30:00.005-05:00

(scanned from the New York Times) Is she an idiot? Yes. Does she deserve criticism? Absolutely. But this kind of vulture marketing is fucking tasteless. But then, NYSC is known for it.

Justin Timberlake Quote of the Day:

2012-01-26T08:10:00.003-05:00

Said Timberlake, just named "creative director"(?) of Callaway Golf, in Tuesday's Wall Street Journal:
"The new (Callaway) marketing will give the sport a nice injection of kickassery."
Golf. Now and forever. Not. A. Sport.
(stick tap to Chris Collision)

This will be the best Super Bowl commercial.

2012-01-26T08:00:00.004-05:00

You dicksplashes can have all your celebs and dogs wearing sneakers and talking fucking babies and slutty Danica Patricks. I'll take this perfected branded spot for 1st Bank. Look for it. Then, remember how it stood out amongst all the noise.
Ad agency: TDA_Boulder. update: the ad will only run in Colorado.

New Atheism billboards ruined by comical typeface, ugly layouts, stupid baby.

2012-01-25T16:30:00.006-05:00

(click, via)
Two boards that just went up this month in Minnesota. Note to the organization: Please get an art director to help you in the future. Yellow? Comic Sans-like type? Whose baby is that? Your chairman's? What is it with the atheists and their shit-ugly billboards? Jesus, it's not like the theists' billboards set the bar very high.

Cumming soon: the Fleshlight iPad case (nsfw-ish).

2012-01-25T14:00:00.003-05:00

(click image, via) Yes, it's exactly what it looks like. And yes, according to Gizmodo, it really is cumming soon. Apple fanboys? Finally, you will be able to fuck your iPad; or more realistically pretend-fuck your favorite porn star, I guess. Welcome to Porn 3.0. What A Fucking World. Gilbert Gottfried will be ecstatic.

60 seconds of food blowing up in slow motion in a microwave (it's an ad).

2012-01-25T12:50:00.002-05:00

The point being, Microwaves ruin everything. Video is for Moe's Southwest Grill. I've never heard of them, but apparently they never use microwaves. It's a selling point, I guess? But how's the food? Brandon from the agency says the action was shot with a Weisscam at 500 frames per second. Ad agency: Focus Brands, Atlanta. Related: Would you buy a microwave that looked this weird?

New Domestic Violence ads: Man knocks out seven women with one punch.

2012-01-25T12:00:00.001-05:00

(click ads, via)
So, a nice visual trick to dramatize the "cycle of violence" via AWARE (Association of Women for action and research) in Singapore. Again, the onus is put on the woman to take responsibility in an abuse PSA campaign (like with this recent pulled date rape campaign). When you fear for your life, "stopping the cycle" is easier said than done (I have some tragic experience with this situation in my extended family).
View several more domestic violence print and video ads here.

Gabrielle Giffords resignation video. Believe in this pathetic, partisan country again.

2012-01-25T11:30:00.003-05:00

New Google subway ad advocates burning beetles alive.

2012-01-25T09:00:00.003-05:00

(click ad)
This version of the ad was scanned from this week's New Yorker, but I first saw it on my morning A train ride yesterday. Yes, Google ads are now all over the NYC subway trains, as part of their new "good to know" campaign. They're starting to spend some big ad $s. I like the illustration style. But that mega-magnifying glass is going to scorch that poor beetle. Seriously, I think the ads are OK, nothing special. They do a decent job of elevating Google Search over other engines (Bing)—seemingly the goal of the campaign. Previously: Hey Look! Google's running very bizarre print ads in Turkey.

Simply the best outdoor ad installation ever produced.

2012-01-25T08:30:00.005-05:00

(click)
Many of you ad veterans have already seen this brilliant piece of work for Rimmel quick-drying nail polish, but about half of my readers don't work in the ad industry—so this is for them.
Back in 2009, JWT London placed these ad sculptures in front of Rimmel retailers in the UK. Then, once shoppers went into the stores, they were greeted by another smaller version of the installation near the Rimmel display case. Sure, there have been many cool-looking oversized outdoor ads (Two of my favorites: Mini-Cooper and Hot Wheels). But this one also perfectly dramatized the product's benefit.

The day Swanson TV dinners killed international cuisine.

2012-01-24T20:30:00.005-05:00

(click, via)
Actually, I don't know the day, but the year was 1967. Other old people from a poor-ish background are maybe familiar with the shit-mouth flavor of Swanson TV dinners. (Anybody eaten them lately? Have they improved?) But luckily for me, my parents never ventured into foreign territory. That Chinese slop looks like cooked dog and dog puke. Previously: Stouffer's turns spinach into a puke brick.

FOUND HIM!

2012-01-24T19:10:00.001-05:00

(click, via reddit)
In the basement of a dorm.
Previously: Hipster Hitler found.

The best Nike Hiking ad I've ever seen.

2012-01-24T16:00:00.004-05:00

(click, via)
Of course, it's the only Nike Hiking ad I've ever seen. And, since it's got a phone number and calling hours, I have no choice but to assume that it's 100% authentic. Recently: The new Nike Kobe Bryant commercial sucks.

Logo Geeks—Time to drool like Homer.

2012-01-24T15:00:00.003-05:00

(click)
This has been around the world wide web a few times, but if you haven't seen it, look at it, and feel inadequate. It's supposedly just a conceptional logo, but Michigan State's golf club should totally steal it. Related: Here's another logo you'll wish you did.

David Ogilvy's best ever tip on writing copy...

2012-01-24T13:00:00.009-05:00

#9. "If all else fails, I drink half a bottle of rum and play a Handel oratorio on the gramophone. This generally produces an uncontrollable gush of copy."
Similarly, I drink a half a bottle of Jack Daniels and play some mclusky on the SoundDock, and think of a bunch of sketchy ideas, and write down none of them, and then can't remember a fucking thing the next morning.
Read more of Ogilvy's 1955 letter on what a lousy copywriter he was on Letters of Note.
Previously: brilliant 1,909-word trade ad written by Ogilvy.

cRaZY Japan Ad Watch: The craziest...scrotum itch cream commercial ever.

2012-01-24T11:00:00.007-05:00

(via)
Kokan means Scrotum in Japanese.
Previously in: cRaZY Japan Ad Watch.

HANGOVERS. CURED.

2012-01-24T09:00:00.007-05:00

(click, via)
This is the best cure since Whiskey Toothpaste! Developed by Max Factor!

Bitch, do the laundry, and then blow me (print ad).

2012-01-24T08:50:00.003-05:00

(click ad, via) Look at how we have evolved, ladies. Skirts have gotten shorter, wash cycles have gotten longer. Snapped in a storefront in Bath, UK. Previously: Crystal Light callously insults single women.

Amazing New YouTube ad by YouTube on YouTube.

2012-01-24T07:30:00.004-05:00

(click images for amazing facts)
"Every ten days, a century of video is uploaded to YouTube."
Holy FUCK.
It's not a traditional "ad" really. But it's one powerful message. I hate infographics. But I love this beaut, just launched by Google. The video is just a teaser. Go to the OneHourPerSecond site for the truly mind-melting info, some of which I've screen-captured above—Nyan cat is your video guide. Are you watching, clueless TV execs? Did you read the recent New Yorker article, late-to-the game ad execs? Video below.
Related: Hey look! Bizarre Google print ads via Turkey.

Fucking craigslist ad of the day.

2012-01-23T18:30:00.005-05:00

(click, via)
Just come get this Richmond man's half-price cinderblocks, you fucking idiots. THEY'RE FUCKING CINDERBLOCKS, FOR FUCK SAKE. Man, do I feel this man's pain. Previous craigslist ads of the day: large fist paperweight • Free sex trampoline • looking for lawyer ladies who give both lap dances & legal advice.

Creative People! Whaddya think of these new Hot Wheels ads?

2012-01-23T16:00:00.005-05:00

(click ads)
The campaign, via Ogilvy, Budapest was released on Friday. And everywhere I've seen them, commenters are gushing—no GUSHing—out of every orifice with superlatives and climax fluid. You know what? I don't really like them! I do like the sets, and I do like the lack of product shots, but I don't like the stupid fake rats or the basic concept (here's the 3rd ad in the campaign). What do you think? Here's better Hot Wheels print ads, and here's an awesome outdoor overpass installation.

Funny gif of the day: Tonya Harding boxing a large penis.

2012-01-23T12:50:00.010-05:00

Previously funny gif of the day:
"Nobody Fucks with the Jesus."

"Shit Creative Directors Say."

2012-01-23T12:30:00.009-05:00

As usual, an ad firm is way behind an already dead meme. Fucking awfully written. Via Tattoo Projects, "advertising and creative development company." They try to blame their interns for this in the video's description. They're not fooling anybody. Related: 11 official press photos of Creative Directors, from around the world, including one bearded, trucker hat guy.

Ever stepped in dogshit wearing sneakers? These ads are for you.

2012-01-23T11:00:00.006-05:00

(click ads, via)
New campaign for the Japanese edition of Sneaker Freaker magazine.
That's a lollipop jammed (hopefully via Photoshop) in that bulldog's butthole.
The magazine is (not) offering dog poop insurance. Here's the video which explains the (fake) promo, which is really just a way for them to track the campaign.
Ad agency: Ogilvy, Tokyo.
Related—two videos for DIESEL sneakers: woman's ass jiggles for 20+ seconds (sfw-ish) • big motorized sneaker chases down and kicks big motorized ass.

Designers! Whaddya think of these gross 7-Eleven ads?

2012-01-23T09:00:00.003-05:00

(click ads, via)
They're student ads via Miami Ad School/San Francisco art director Felipe Mollica. Some commenters at Ads of the World think they're disgusting. 7-Eleven's are disgusting! And their hot dogs and nachos are super disgusting. And these layouts are no more disgusting than this real 7-Eleven Slurpee ad. And they brand baby brand! They're definitely not right for the real world, but they're interesting.
Don't write me, Felipe, we have no openings.

Copywriters! Whaddya think of these new Lego ads? Clever? Too Clever? Not Clever?

2012-01-23T08:15:00.003-05:00

(click ads, via)
These ads are appearing in magazines on four consecutive pages. I get it, Pereira O'Dell (the ad agency): The copy is attempting to show the limitless mind of a child, and that what that mind is thinking often only makes sense to that child. But. The ads are not enjoyable—reading them made my head hurt.They're lazy. They could have been written in the same scattershot style, and made sense, had a better payoff, which would have been enjoyable. Your comments welcome.
Previous good Lego campaigns: Good • Better • Best.

Today's Blowjob Ad.

2012-01-22T14:40:00.010-05:00

(click ad)
Part of a new UK campaign for Nvidia's GeForce GPUs. That is the most realistic backview of a simulated gamer on warrior sword swallowing I've ever seen. Get my mind out of the gutter? Where do you think gamers' mind are most of the time? The second ad in the series, featuring a Sumo wrestler, isn't nearly as blowjobby (related).
Seriously, the visual doesn't sell "realism", it sells "large screen TVs".
Ad agency: Alecoppe Ltd., London.
Previously: The infamous PS3 ad with the boy with the thumb penis.

Rick Santorum wants you to CUM.

2012-01-22T08:30:00.003-05:00

(via) That's one clunky phrase that creates one funny acronym. Part of me wants to believe Ricky is having fun with his Google legacy. But then, I remember, he's a fucking idiot. Anyway, he's already reached his money shot.

America, summed up in one photo.

2012-01-21T12:30:00.003-05:00

(click)
In the US of A, only about 39% of its citizens believe in the "theory" of evolution—that humans were not "created" less than 10,000 years ago—that all those various hominid "bones" were not planted by Satan. By the way, "Evilution" sign guy is promoting this fellow. Previous even funnier counter-religious protest sign here.

Wonder who controls the Internet? This guy.

2012-01-21T10:30:00.003-05:00

(via reddit)
He recently took over for this guy, who is currently on vacation.

What would Beavis and Butthead look like in real life?

2012-01-21T08:00:00.004-05:00

Incubuses (click images).
Created by makeup effects artist Kevin Kirkpatrick.
See more shots at Buzzfeed.
Previously: Beavis & Butthead brand Russian dumplings.

Tums on Twitter covering their ass vis-á-vis a fake overdose.

2012-01-20T17:45:00.006-05:00

(via reddit)
Snick. Er.
No, you can't OD on Tums.
Previous corporate Twitter idiots (Twidiots):
• Samsung.
• Entenmann's.
• Kenneth Cole.

Jesus and the Devil French kissing in latest Benetton ad.

2012-01-20T15:30:00.005-05:00

(click ad, via)
The Vatican got a previous ad in the Italian retailer's new UNHATE campaign, which featured the Pope necking with an Egyptian imam, banned. So, they replaced it with two (maybe fictional) characters who nobody can claim intellectual property rights over. Jesus looks a little reluctant, but dishy Lucifer is all in.
Here's four other posters from the effort.

cRaZY Japan Ad Watch: The best department store commercial ever produced.

2012-01-20T12:30:00.005-05:00

Your counterargument is invalid.
Footnote: Anybody know the ad agency? update: It's Asatsu-DK, Tokyo.
Previously in: cRaZY Japan Ad Watch.

Adorable behind the scenes photo from VW's Super Bowl teaser commercial, "The Bark Side."

2012-01-20T11:25:00.002-05:00

(click, via)
Here's the spot, if you haven't seen it.

Woman kills stranger in chocolate milk ad.

2012-01-20T11:15:00.003-05:00

(click ad, via)
Ironically, this ad is not killer.
Ad agency Richter7, Salt Lake City.
Now, I could understand it more if it was 40-proof chocolate milk. Related: The craziest, child-porniest vintage chocolate milk ad ever.

President Obama's first reelection commercial.

2012-01-20T10:40:00.002-05:00

Solyndra? On the defensive, right out of the chute? Don't know, O. "Secretive oil billionaires?" I guess you didn't want to name the evil Koch brothers by name. "Jobs"—that's good. "Clean energy"—that's OK, but I think that phrase goes in the ears of many Americans, and then disappears into their brain mush. The dependence on foreign oil thing is a good sound bite. Biden got his name in there! You'll have to change the sign-off frame after you replace him with Hillary in a couple of months. Grade? C.
Previously: Clever ambient public bathroom anti-Obama ads.

Homeless begging advertising in NYC is very competitive.

2012-01-20T10:00:00.004-05:00

(click images, via)
The first guy had a brilliant idea.
But then Frank Jenkinson (probably not his real name) did what all good copywriters and art directors do in a pinch: he stole it, and made it better. Or did he? The first execution is simpler, and it shows nice respect for the sidewalk space. Which do you think is better? They're probably both "art" projects.
Previous creative homeless man sign: "Parents eaten by pigeons."

Kute as Krap Kangaroo Kit Kat ad.

2012-01-20T09:00:00.004-05:00

(click ad)
As the week ends, and my exhausted ad flamethrower tanks are getting refilled at the local armory, Let's all put down our middle fingers, and put on a happy face. Who hates kangaroos? Who hates baby kangaroos? Who hates Kit Kats? Fuc... I mean, fudge you if you do. Ad from 2008, by JWT, Dubai. Previous nice Kit Kat work: • the website where nothing happens • Kit Kat ad exploits the longest set in tennis history.

Do any of you actually own one of these?

2012-01-19T16:00:00.012-05:00

(click image, via)
Questions:
• Did he come before or after Bronies?
• Is he the son of a Centaur and a mare?
• Was he late for the ark?
• Or, did Noah deny him entry because he had no female companion?
• Was he gay?
update: it's just art.
Previously in: WTF is this?

The strangest, most perverted airline ad I've ever seen.

2012-01-19T14:15:00.007-05:00

(click ad, from the 1950s, via)
Czech out the sexy one piece unmentionable on Svetla the Stewardess. She dressed like a Colorforms doll. Nice. The Velco (invented in 1948) straps made for convenient quickies behind the not-iron curtain. Seriously, what the FUCK is going on in this ad? Previous vintage airline ads:
• The mile high club menu of Philippine Air.
• American Airlines had the hottest MILF stewardesses.

Hawaii 5-0 Subway product placement the most painfully forced yet.

2012-01-19T12:30:00.003-05:00

From Monday's episode.
I've never watched the show (well, the remake).
They should've had Jared walk by, casually ask about the recent crime spree.
Previously: First Look! Jared Fogle's six-pack.

Comically stupid German street crime campaign.

2012-01-19T11:00:00.009-05:00

(click ads, via)
Bad Rhymes fight Violent Crimes?
Apparently, Düsseldorfians are shitfaced 24/7, and don't know a crime when they see/hear one. Put the stein down Wolfgang and call 1-1-0, ya dummkopf. Note: One (well, me) can't help but think that this campaign is addressing right wing violence, which is growing in the city. Ad agency: Butter, Berlin/Düsseldorf.

Greenpeace uses dead, oil-soaked birds to create protest art.

2012-01-19T09:10:00.006-05:00

Cheap, disgusting, pointless trick, or creative, heartbreakingly powerful marketing? (As a man who hates most people and loves all animals, you know where I stand.) Objectively, it falls somewhere between the two.
Backstory: Last October, container ship MV Rena ran aground in the Bay of Plenty off New Zealand, leaking hundreds of tons of heavy oil. Greenpeace says 20,000 birds died as a result— the worst ever NZ maritime environmental disaster.
Greenpeace used some of the birds to create prints, some of which were sent to celebrities. The campaign is a protest against the Kiwi government’s decision to open its waters to deep-sea oil drilling.
The Radiohead almost ruins the video for me. Silence would have been much better. Video below. For many more Greenpeace stunts—from interesting to idiotic—click here.

This is how to tease your Super Bowl commercial.

2012-01-19T07:15:00.012-05:00

The Bark Side. So fucking bad, it's good. Puppies and the Imperial March music from Star Wars. The AT-AT Greyhound is overkill. How much you wanna bet the actual commercial ain't half as entertaining as this? Ad agency: Deutsch LA.
To stabilize this post, here's five previous VW ads that sucked.

True.

2012-01-18T20:00:00.002-05:00

(via)

A dumb-ass Hardee's commercial.

2012-01-18T18:45:00.005-05:00

(via)
I can imagine the snickering from the David & Goliath creatives in the "ideation" room of their chic El Segundo office. (There are seven [7] creative directors—all male—listed in the credits for this unfunny spot.) "Handmade handmade, I got it! Handmade basketball kicks made out of tissue boxes!", said the noodle-armed CD or ACD wearing an ironic t-shirt. Hardee's? How much money did this thing cost you? Write me next time, I'll give you actual good TV ideas, for a fucking fraction of what you paid for this turd. Previous crap by David & Goliath: Miss Turkey in a turkey burger bikini for Carl's Jr. (Hardee's sister chain).

NO MORE EINSTEIN RIFFING ADS!!!!!

2012-01-18T14:30:00.004-05:00

(click ad)
Didn't you get my memo from 20 years ago, Biedermann McCann in Paraguay? You're a good size agency, I'm sure you MUST be aware of how hopelessly hackneyed this visual idea is—aren't you? AREN'T YOU? There're two more executions in this un-smart print campaign for Tigo mobile.

The 2nd best butter commercial ever produced.

2012-01-18T11:20:00.003-05:00

Here's the best, for the same brand by the same agency, from last January. That's the very ccol Rutger Hauer doing the voiceover work in both spots.
Ad agency: Wieden+Kennedy, London.

Is this the best mugshot in the history of mugshots?

2012-01-18T11:00:00.003-05:00

(click, via Deadspin)
YES.
Why? Because, "David Peters, 66, was indicted on 20 counts of possessing sexually oriented material involving a minor and 20 counts of disseminating sexually oriented material involving a minor..."
I don't think he's being ironic with that t-shirt. I think it was just bad arrest timing.

Look how Prada pretentiously packages their t-shirts.

2012-01-18T10:00:00.001-05:00

(click, via)
"Challenging Fundamental Assumptions.
Embracing Esthetic Pragmatism."
In a fucking $300 white t-shirt.
Fuck you, Miuccia.
Previously in: Fashion Hooey.

Perfectly horrible placement for a "Dream Holiday" ad.

2012-01-18T09:05:00.003-05:00

(click image, via)
That's right—it won't Costa ya anything! Previously: Perfectly horrible placement for a cruise ship ad.

If you buy this f*cking facebook bed, I hope you die in your sleep.

2012-01-18T08:25:00.008-05:00

(click, via)
Lucky for the world, this is, at the moment, just a concept bed. See how it works? You wake up and immediately hop up to the top of the "f" to sit down and start facebooking! Mark Zuckerberg will be lightly banging his girlfriend (they're not married yet, right?) on this long before you get one.
Previously: the facebook shower curtain.

New Creepy, Phallic French Weight Watchers Ads.

2012-01-18T08:00:00.004-05:00

(click ads, via)
It's time again for copyranter's Art Directors Gone Wild!
Copy: "Treat yourself better."
Oh you Français, so oral you are. So: we've got both good and bad food inserted carefully, with love, into the mouth models' mouths. The sardine and the gummy worms executions are particularly...interesting. Not being a candidate for Weight Watchers, I don't really know how motivating this award-bait campaign is. What do you think? The ad agency here is the ultra pretentious Fred & Farid of Paris. TV spot below, which is sure to be a hit with French men. Related: four insulting weight loss ad efforts.

The dumbest McDonald's ad ever.

2012-01-17T17:30:00.004-05:00

(click ad via)
From 1998, by Mudra Communications in India. Fucking brain food? How bout brain dead food? Einstein just barfed in his grave. This is even dumber than this ultra dumb German Burger King ad.

Orange Juice: the official drink of closeted gay businessmen.

2012-01-17T17:10:00.006-05:00

(click ad, from the 1950s, via)
Jesus flaming Christ, look at that face. Look at his mascara. Look at his perfectly plucked eyebrows. LOOK AT HIS FACE (try to ignore his mental son). He's got some big hands. Nice big mouth, too. Anita Bryant definitely does not approve of this ad. Related: the very homoerotic vintage Schlitz beer ads.

New Jolly Rancher commercial features a talking, flying turtle with laser eyes.

2012-01-17T16:30:00.001-05:00

It's for new hard on the outside/soft on the inside Jolly Ranchers. Stoner Charlie still wants to eat the turtle, though. "Are you still talking to that bird" and "My milk!" made me laugh. copyranter's insane-ometer just imploded. I want to live with those dudes. Directed by Olivier Agostini. Your move, Skittles.

These Science Diet dog food ads make me uncomfortable.

2012-01-17T15:20:00.005-05:00

(click ads)
Tagline: "for healthy digestion."
But then, I just had explosive diarrhea about 30 minutes ago (True story. I ate a shitload of oatmeal this morning. Stay out of the men's room for at least another 30).
Ad agency: JWT, Sydney.
Previous uncomfortable dog food ads:
• funny disgusting organic dog food ads.
• funny disgusting laxative dog food ads.

The new iPoo. The perfect toilet for Mac fanboys.

2012-01-17T09:05:00.007-05:00

(click image, via Milos Paripovic)
It's the shit! It works exactly the same as any other shitter, but costs twice as much. Note how the apple shape perfectly fits skinny fan boys' tushies. Never needs a plunger—easily flushes your biggest Jobs (snicker)! Coming in 2013! Previously: What do Mac fanboys do in their spare time?

The "Mad Men" season 5 teaser poster is macabre.

2012-01-17T08:20:00.003-05:00

(click, via)
If you know the show, you smile at the inside joke. If you don't know the show, you Google "March 25" and maybe you guess what it is or maybe you think March 25th is National Commit Suicide Day and you start the search for the perfect building to throw yourself off of. Or, if you see it in NYC, you think of this. Previously: unofficial Mad Men season 5 posters from September.

The new Nike Kobe Bryant commercial sucks.

2012-01-16T23:00:00.004-05:00

How embarrassing for you, Wieden + Kennedy. An unapologetic, classless, serial philanderer/probable rapist + a pointless bunch of celebs + a stupid yellow triangle diagram + a bad script = worthy of Nike basketball advertising? What the fuck.
Related fashion shoot: five Kobe Bryants give lingerie model rapey eyes.

What do you think of this description of an Advertising Creative Department?

2012-01-16T17:00:00.001-05:00

(click image)
By Luke Sullivan.
Nice try. I'd say it's more like this.
Previously:
NYC Creative Dept. Douchebags, Trev and Kai.

The perfect spot for a strip club billboard.

2012-01-16T13:45:00.002-05:00

(click, via)
He's "working late."
Photo via Australia. The billboard on the right is for WorkSafe Victoria.
Here's a previous funny strip club ad juxtaposition, via Times Square.

This will be the strangest beer commercial you see today.

2012-01-16T13:00:00.001-05:00

And maybe, ever. Compare it to this strange-ass spot for Toohey's via Australia. Maryland's Flying Dog Brewery just released this video to tease the launch of Wildeman Farmhouse IPA, coming Jaunary 30th. From the press release:
"His axe is stained with the blood of a thousand adversaries. We fall in behind him as he leads up into darkness. He turns his gaze on us. "Tentanda via est!" The way must be tried. Wildeman has arrived. Legions of followers marched across Europe in his wake. But (what) was most soon realized is that Wildeman is already inside of them, ready to be awakened. Will you fall in line or find the edge?"
O-fucking-kay.

Perfectly horrible placement for a Cruise Ship ad.

2012-01-16T08:20:00.009-05:00

(click image)
(Left) Six dead, 29 missing is the latest count in the Costa Concordia disaster. (Right) So, book your cruise today with Resecity! Rates just reduced! From today's Dagens Nyheter (Daily News) in Sweden. Thanks Andrei. Previous evil newspaper ad placement: Newt Gingrich and a Tiffany's ad in the Wall Street Journal. update: commenter says it's not Dagens Nyheter, but a local paper called Ångermanlänningen. update #2: here's another shot of the same spread.

Six Ads with Martin Luther King, Jr. selling crap (Beer, Mattresses, Suntan Lotion).

2012-01-16T07:00:00.004-05:00

(click ads)
Although he lags well behind Hitler, and Tits, MLK has still moved a fair amount of product in the last five years.
Top L—Get it? Ad agency: Serviceplan, Germany. Top R—"It's Good To Be Black" says Sundown brand suntan lotion (sorry, for the low res scan—it's just a bio of MLK). CLASSY. Ad agency: DDB Brazil.
Middle Left—"Dream" on Dormimundo mattresses. Ad agency: DDB Mexico. Middle Right: This a beaut for Haywards Black stout. Copy reads: "I have a dream that one day little black bottles and little black glasses of beer will be able to sit at the table with little pale bottles and pale glasses of beer as sister and brothers." Ad agency: Ogilvy, India.
Bottom Left—Trade ad for VW's TSI engine. At least they respected white space. Ad agency: Ogilvy Cape Town. Bottom Right—Creepy as fucking Hell in-store poster promoting biographies for South African bookstore chain Booksellers. See the world with MLK's cut-out dead eyes. Ad agency: Ogilvy Johannesburg.

This is for all the women who say they love nerds...

2012-01-15T17:30:00.002-05:00

(click image, via Chelsea Peretti)

Americans now legally allowed to hang newborn babies in public restrooms (photo).

2012-01-15T09:55:00.006-05:00

(click photo, via Buzzfeed)
The law was pushed through by the strong Pro-Life lobby. And look at that, after you hang your infant, you just place it right into a convenient wall depository. Previously in: I (FAKE) hate kids.

Predictions for Amercia in 2011, via a 1911 magazine article.

2012-01-15T07:15:00.003-05:00

(click, via)
By one John Elfreth Watkins, Jr., the son of this guy, Here's a few of his big whiffs:
• No cockroaches or rats (bwa HAHA)
• Trains 150 mph (not in oil lobby-controlled America!)
• Everybody will walk 10 miles (got that, Southerners?)
But, he also got a few things right, particular the sending of (cat) pictures around the world.
Previously in The Future (pics):
• Classroom of the Future (via Japan)
• Living Room of the Future (from 1979)
• Technology of the Year 2000 (via 1910)

Chicago's 26-ft. Marilyn Monroe statue freezing her ass off yesterday.

2012-01-14T15:30:00.007-05:00

(click, via)
It's her first snowfall, I think.
Related: Marilyn Monroe fart-vertising.

citibank subway ad gets occupied.

2012-01-14T08:20:00.009-05:00

(click, via Animal)
New Yorkers don't need any help from the "Citi Mortage Consultants" to write their stories, thanks. Hey, it's a crowdsourced campaign, you gotta take the bad with the good, Vikram.
Bank ads. Always pissing me off.

If you're thinking of starting a towing company, please do not name it this.

2012-01-13T18:00:00.004-05:00

(click, via)
We'll get you out of a tight spot! Guy probably thought, 'fuck yeah, I'm fucking clever." No. No, he isn't. Previously: Hiny Hiders®.

New Milwaukee Public Library ads mock facebook, YouTube, and Twitter.

2012-01-13T14:50:00.003-05:00

(click, via)
Yay Literacy! Good for them. I'm sure these are/will be flying all over the Web via facebook status updates and tweets. Note: An Israeli bookstore chain did this exact idea two years ago. Repeat, ad infinitum: There are no new advertising ideas, etc.

Evil dead Steve Jobs smirks at Chinese iPhone 4S mob.

2012-01-13T13:40:00.004-05:00

(Click the contextual ad evilness from yesterday via)
Previously: the ten worst Steve Jobs tribute ads.

If you don't stop at stop signs, FUCK YOU (billboard).

2012-01-13T13:00:00.004-05:00

(click image, via) Apparently, Israelis view stop signs as mere suggestions. In an effort to curb accidents/deaths, JCDecaux, the world's largest outdoor ad company, erected these altered, over-sized signs near major intersections. I'm thinking they may spur road rage and bird-flipping in more than a few drivers, and actually cause more accidents than they prevent. If you're wondering why the hand looks weird, it's because this is how stop signs look in Israel. I much prefer these New Zealand safety billboards that featured a boy's face that started bleeding whenever it rained. For five more instances of middle fingervertising, click here.

What happens in...North Dakota stays in North Dakota (sleazy tourism ad).

2012-01-13T11:35:00.008-05:00

(click ad, via boingboing)
Yeah, good one ND—try to fool people into thinking you're Vegas. (Though those spread-collar guys do look like douchebags, and Vegas loves douchebags.) This sleaziness, via the most religious state—by far—in the Union. But I guess their tourism office figured what the fuck else is there to do in our barren, cold-ass state but fuck? ND is also the least visited state in the US, by the way. I'm sure this superb ad will change that. Ad agency: Odney Advertising.
Related: the most bizarre tourism commercial ever (via Switzerland).
update: North Dakota has pulled the ad.

Israeli gym ad callously mocks insecure women.

2012-01-13T10:50:00.002-05:00

(click ad, via)
Photoshop note: the fat-shamed woman is not sitting near a pool, she is sitting in a studio. Israel, not surprisingly, has a history of mocking women in its advertising. Who can forget the Bacardi "Ugly Girlfriend" fiasco? Or the dumb blonde-mocking bookstore ad? Ad agency: MCCann Erickson, Tel Aviv.

Crystal Light ad callously insults single women.

2012-01-13T09:10:00.004-05:00

(click image)
Recently, the Kraft Foods brand inserted this FSI into one of the coupon packets that are placed in newspapers. It was apparently created by a time-traveling Mad Men era ad guy. 8%! Where'd that number come from? I believe it came from the deep recesses of the ass of a Kraft marketing dipshit. I haven't seen something this dated and sexist since Mr. Clean's Keep Scrubbing Bitch Mother's Day insert.

Rick Perry + Katy Perry = Ricky Perry = cannot unsee.

2012-01-13T08:20:00.005-05:00

(click image, via reddit)
Whelp. They're both deeply religious, they both hate Jews. And they're both not going to be the next President of the United States. Previously: Rick Brokeback Mountain Perry.

Sleazy, Ugly Viagra Ad of the Day.

2012-01-12T20:30:00.006-05:00

(click fake ad, via)
I think glucosamine is much more important than Viagra for that act at that age. Type note for the Art Director: Do you think maybe you could slip in a couple more colors into that headline? And: usually, I'm all for respecting the white space, but the lonely white space in this layout is begging for a visual—maybe this. Now, click here to see 11 previous sexxxy Viagra ads from around the world.

The most "America" ever crammed into one photo.

2012-01-12T18:30:00.006-05:00

(click photo, via)
You're either with us, or against us, you fucking Muslim-hugging Commies.
Previously:
• THIS car.
• Walmart.
• Walmart again.

The most disturbing ad of the year, by a nose.

2012-01-12T14:25:00.004-05:00

(click ad, via)
Well, at least so far. Ad is for Drixine nasal decongestant—a Merck/Schering-Plough product—via the Philippines (Ad agency: DDB), a very disturbing country. "Doc, my snot has been very Siamese-y lately." I guess dude has a septum perforation. Either that, or that cat has no spine. Time for a vote! Is this ad more or less disturbing than these crazy ads from 2010 for Otrivin nasal spray out of Israel?

Today's stupid ad on my subway ride that made my laugh my fucking ass off.

2012-01-12T11:30:00.012-05:00

(click image, via the D train. copyranter often sees ads on his daily NYC subway trips that are too bad not break out the iPhone. Here's seven previous ones.)

"Carpe 2012", Michelob Ultra drinkers! Just once, just ONCE, get your fat ass out of the golf cart and truly engage in the "sport". A second ad in the car read, "Spend less time sitting." SEIZE THE YEAR, urban gladiators!
Related: Irrefutable evidence that golf is not a sport.

Today's failure of an ad.

2012-01-12T10:30:00.007-05:00

(click ad, via)
Harley spirit. Well. Let's see. Amongst all those fake, fake tattoos, I spy dinosaurs and lightning bolts and the tribal thing and a hawk and a light bulb and a truck and a car and another car and another care and NOT ONE FUCKING MOTORCYCLE (yes, I see the toy bike, so what, still a fail). Ad agency: Momapropaganda, Brazil. Note, South America: this is how you advertise Harley-Fucking-Davidson bikes.

Barack Obama is selling window cleaner in Israel.

2012-01-12T09:10:00.006-05:00

(click ad, via)
"Stop using newspapers" to clean your windows. Get it? Because Obama is always in the news. (Boy, is that a creative stretcccchhh.) I'm sure Israelis are getting a kick out of seeing our Muslim, Jew-hating, full of hot air Prez getting his Schwarze face smooshed. Nuke Iran! Anyway, add the ad to the worldwide illicit Bam Branding epidemic. Ad agency: Gitam BBDO, Tel Aviv.

Here are some very nice shoe ads (via Switzerland).

2012-01-12T08:50:00.004-05:00

(click ads, via)
New campaign for 80-year-old brand Vögele (300 stores in Switzerland, Austria, and Slovenia). I generally abhor all fashion advertising, because it's just pure image bullshit. But this conceit—using a combination of real models' legs and illustrations on oversized shoes boxes—is attention-grabbing and attractive, without being pathetically provocative like Tom Ford (nsfw) or Diesel (nsfw). And, since no faces, cheaper day rates! Ad agency: Jung von Matt, Zurich.
The last shoe ads I liked were these insane NSFW images via Luciano Carvari.