Monday, March 31, 2008


(click ads for closer look)
The Scrotum. Ball Sack. Bollocks. Whatever you prefer to call it/them, it's/they're just not something you see touched upon in ads, even men's underwear ads (one exception was this recent Tom Ford ad with painful crotch grab.). But these layouts for Jockey's new "3-D Innovations" underwear are gleefully, in-you-face testicular. They're via Thailand, so don't look for the campaign stateside anytime ever. And as a man with balls, I gotta say the ads hit a certain nerve, though not really the purchasing nerve. (one more execution, a rodeo rider, here)

I LOVE SWEDISH FISH! These ads? Eh...

(click ads for closer look)
I don't care what kinds of carcinogens reside inside each little chemically-made piece of aquatic candy, I Can't Resist Swedish Fish (™®© copyranter 2008). No, I never buy them myself; but if a co-worker brings some in, or a media company sends us a swag container of 'em, I usually devour more than a couple. The combo fruit/chemical flavors are irresistible!
As for these ads (3 more in the campaign, via JWT NY, here), well, I like that they're wacky and I like that they're easy on my design eyes and I even kinda like the tagline but, for some reason, it just doesn't add up to me loving them. What do you think? previous candy ads: excellent Snickers Halloween ad; M&Ms for business—hard to swallow; the Butterfinger finger campaign; Altoids—Brown Sugar.

bottled water company lectures me on plastic bags.

(click ad to read copy)
The last line of copy: "Jana gives every employee a reusable tote bag for their personal shopping." How fucking green of you, Jana. You know what would really help the environment? If you gave every employee a fucking pink slip and shut down your useless fucking company, you shameless fucks. Then, we wouldn't have to read your stupid fucking ads with fucking flip comments about Flipper. Fuck you, Jana. (see a second Jana ad lecturing us about magazine recycling here) previously in bullshit green marketing: Levi's 100% Organic Eco-Jeans; the world's first eco-friendly vodka; 2(x)ist green underwear, increase your carbon cockprint.

KOREAN AIR: How May We Service You?

Korean Air:
You think our turbines have suction power...
The ad copy (click image) reads, in part: "That's why our delicate service (no teeth!) with a smile remains constant throughout the flight..." Now, the ad was scanned from the March 31st Asian edition of Newsweek. And as tipster Juditha wrote, there certainly is a cultural difference with how female flight attendants (and really, all females) are perceived in Asian culture. But. Still. If the airline keeps running ads in this vein (sorry!), their male passengers are not going to stop at unbuckling their seat belts. previous ads with overt oral sex imagery: Fragoli liqueur, Too Much Teeth!; Naples Lumber—sometimes an electric screwdriver isn't just an electric screwdriver; QSOL servers won't go down on you either; OXYDO sunglasses—The Magic Flute; and Queens auto dealership, $"69" down.
update: go to PollsBoutique to vote in a poll about the imagery of this ad.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Link Haze, 3/28/08.

• Disney (see Goofy [Pluto] with bone in mouth, right) gets caught advertising on sleazy sites by the Drunken Stepfather. His commentary on the matter is spot-on and quite humorous. (link)
• An ad copywriter is running for president. I have nothing to add. (link)
• Speaking of copywriting, here's how to write copy, written by the UK copywriter Simon "Scamp" Veksner. (link)
• Wrestlemania "wrestlers" have their nipples removed on billboards. (link)
• Speaking of stupid billboards, here's a distractingly stupid one warning us against driving distractions. Amazing. (link)
• Remember my post about the horrid copy on a bourbon ad? Well, the GLBT version of the same ad features equally bad verbiage. (link)
• Jeremy Piven's goofy, forced model pose for his Johnston & Murphy ads looks sort of like a combo Napoleon/Jack Benny. (link)
• Dr. Pepper is going to give every single American a free can of soda if Axl Rose releases Chinese Democracy in 2008. This makes one wonder if they had this idea before or after the start of the recent deadly riots in Tibet. (link)
• Darling pet monkey: $18.95. (link)
• French Axe spot in a dentist's office. (link)
• A good viral ad movement? The Orange Underground for Cheetos. (link)
• Williamsburg Brooklyn photo du jour: Keep Off Flowers. Um... (link)
• Hand-shaped dildo for fisting. (link)
• Texas man buys Illinois-shaped corn flake on eBay for $1,350. (link)

you can't spell 'Alexander Bogusky' without 'God'

(click ad to read copy)
Some in our industry call Alex (winner of a chocolate Equine's Posterior™ Award for putting fucking teepees in his agency) a creative "God." While I was in ad school, my mean instructors often gave that tag to Bill Bernbach. I ate it up then. Now, it just makes me very sad. As does this ad for Atlanta ad school Creative Circus in the latest issue of Creativity magazine. Not because I think it's blasphemous. No. Just because it makes me want to cry cry on this sad sad Friday for all you poor, poor misguided young wannabe copywriters/art directors. Why? Because, you're going to spend so, so much more time sucking anus and fellating cock and pretending to like products you hate and congratulating yourself for screwing the consumer than actually "creating." If you are an aspiring "creative" and you haven't read my account of copyranter's visit to the NYC offices of BBDO (including that of the God-like David Lubars), do so RIGHT NOW. Then, if you still want to be a "creative," well, God have mercy on your lost soul. Now, I need to go create a bourbon on the rocks. (the real reason I'm sad: my girlfriend left this morning to visit her Mom in Arizona for a week. you wanna go into advertising? go ahead: the pay's pretty good and it's fun. sometimes.)

Thursday, March 27, 2008

SMOKEY BEAR SEZ: "I'm retired, you little pricks. Burn in Hell, for all I care."

This is how L.A. does PSAs. Like, whatever. As long as it doesn't rain. (snapped outside a movie theater in Marina del Rey by Luke Rooney)

German Hat Seller Has Fun With Hitler.

(click ad for closer look)
Over here in the States, Hitler is of course a quite popular figure to riff off of in advertising. In fact, my first thought with every creative brief put on my desk is, 'can I use Hitler, Einstein, or a naked woman?'
In Deutschland however, creatives are understandably a bit reluctant to break out der Führer (though not naked women, vagina imagery, or bestiality). Here, German ad agency ServicePlan, with a graphically-appealing print ad for Bonn hat retailer Hut Weber, has managed to pull it off without inciting an international incident. I salute, err, tip my hat, to you. (image via)

fake American Apparel ad artist stays current.

(click image)
He/She must have read the Radar piece penned by AA Dov girl Claire Salinda where she revealed that the pants-optional CEO graciously gave her a dildo in lieu of a decent day rate to show her tits/model for him. Here again, the artist continues his/her signature technique of including an X-rated peek of the female nether regions in his/her canvases. Another masterpiece. (snapped @ 4th Ave. and 13th by the ever eagle-eyed stereo hell)

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

(NSFW!) because your tips continue to suck, I'm posting this picture of Mr. & Mrs. Switcherooski.

My hatebot has had no effect on you apathetic turds. If this doesn't work, what I post next will sear your eyeballs into your cranium and out the back of your skull. If NOTHING else, at least direct your worst insults at me in the comments; they'll give me something different to read. previously in my readers suck: the human dickwad; Google Image Search—"Kiss My Ass"; Google Image Search—"commenter"; Wallace P. Lipshitz—my best reader ever; I dream of John McCain sex tapes.
EMAIL GOOD TIPS/PICS TO: copyanter(at)hotmail(dot)com

French men can't see the forest for the trees. Or something.

(click ads for closer look)
French print ads for Miss Epil brand depilatory cream. The Mademoiselles have a reputation for being a tad lax vis-á-vis bodyscaping (though this topless French American Apparel "street" model appears to have smooth legs). Well, Spring has sprung, Antoinette—time to clear the timber. At the least the ads ask politely. I'm assuming the men are on legs safaris, not in the bush. (images via. ads done by male creative team, it appears.) previous French ads for women: vibrating Yoba vibrator ad; There Will Be Blood, acknowledges French Tampax ad; French woman in polar wool G-string bikini sells Perrier; and three-story Milla Jovovich reclined outside my Paris hotel.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Mushrooming Cans.

(click image for closer look)
This truck panel ad for Nila mushrooms is the new leader in my Most Gratuitous Use Of Breasts To Sell Something category, supplanting Salma Hayek's rack for Campari. It joins the current Most Gratuitous Use Of Ass To Sell Something champion. (image via adrants)

Proud as a (twitching, erect) Peacock.

(click ad for closer look)
Are you so horny that your entire body—not just your balls—is turning blue? Wish it was raining (se)men? Tuttufrutti-flavored semen? Well before you do something rash (heh), you better pick up some penis raincoats (be optimistic—buy a Kama Sutra 50-pack!) Before you know it, you'll be a sexy love machine drawing Sudoku puzzles on your paramour's back while banging him/her doggie-style. So don't be like this guy. Get out there, "shake your tail feathers," and GET SOME! related: NYU virgin boys learn how to put on/takeoff condoms. (ad via MultiCultClassics)


(click ad to read copy)
Don't sweat it, i-bankers. iShares, the best invention since sliced bread (their horseshit claim), presents this nifty oscillating fan, the greatest financial tool since the Scottrade abacus! Just plug it in, aim it at your computer screen, go hide under a pile of coats for a couple of hours, and Bingo!—financial woes begone. Be the first in your Mensa chapter to purchase the iShares Fan®! (scanned from this week's New Yorker)

Monday, March 24, 2008

B&C taps Marie Osmond to blog about—I don't know?—dancing, dolls, and swear words?

(click ad to read copy)
Coming Fall 2009?
The ad announcement in this week's Broadcasting and Cable magazine seems a bit premature, though B&C already has a Webpage saved for her. I guess they're trying to generate some 18 months ahead of time buzzzzz! Either that, or it's supposed to read "Fall 2008?" Marie is a blogosphere vet, having already digitally recorded her "Dancing With The Stars" appearance. She also recently updated her QVC dolls blog. So check back with B&C Thursday, September 24th, 2009 I guess? related: Monkee Davy Jones sings Monkee song mash-ups for Gorilla Trades.

Conversely, I think these spots are pure marketing BS.

Anomaly, the "anti-ad agency" (this is what they call themselves), is trying to position Converse as an "anti-marketer" with some "anti-advertising." These particular spots/videos (1, 2, 3) and their transparent and trite "we really get you young rebels" copy however, feel quite anti-authentic. Especially when you remember that Converse is a huge-ass sneaker company owned by an even huger-ass sneaker company (Nike, world marketer).

Dov Charney risks death by opening American Apparel stores in China.

At right is the ad (click for closer look) American Apparel ran heralding their expansion to Japan. Now the pants-optional CEO, in a move timed to coincide with this Summer's Beijing Olympics, has announced his intention to seed China. Judging by his ads, he definitely seems to have a pretty strong case of Asian Fever—so the move isn't that surprising. However, paging through April's Radar magazine, I see that the following crimes are punishable by death in China: organizing pornographic clubs; running a brothel; rape (statutory?); trading in women and children; drug and cigarette smuggling; and graft. I think it's safe to say the Chinese in-store displays won't look anything like this.

Uh...could I get 6 for $199.98?

(click to pick your 3)
On the upper west side @Broadway & 100th. previously in NYC commerce photos: it's 9/11—clap your hands say yeah!; fake, explicit American Apparel posters; Commerce vs. Chase—bank pen wars!; these boots were made for gawking; tiny dead-animal Barbie® coats of Zamir Furs; All Handbags $2.50!—The Great Wall of New York.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Link Haze, 3/21/08.

• Flash Drive engagement rings (right). Monogamy x 100 x 4GB? (link, via)
• Guantánamo Bay-inspired underwear by Agent Provocateur. Penis torture. (link)
• Oh look—soon entire buildings will be shrink-wrapped ads. Coming in 2012, the Target® Freedom Tower! (link)
• A wrap-up of TV spots: the creepiest sexual abuse PSA ever (link); the stupidest local furniture store commercial ever (link); and the absolute worst political spot ever (link).
• Selling Girl Scout cookies on e-bay—capitalism or capital crime? (link)
• Headline on this 30+ year-old VW ad even more poignant today. (link)
• The once great Kool-Aid® Man has been gutted. (link)
• The sloganizer. "copyranter makes your dreams come true!™" (link, via)
• brooklyn apt. for rent. exposed brick, telephone. (link)
• Burger King & McDonald's "diversity" ads practically identical. (link)
• Paul Smith "super-secret sample sale"—line-up soulless superfluous sheep. (link)
• Obama's race speech, sponsored by Oreo (snicker). (link)
• Lastly, an Australian man built a suicide robot, which he then commanded to shoot him dead in his driveway, which it did. I want a picture (and detailed diagrams) of this robot! (link)

Trix Are For (severely depressed five-year-old) Kids.

(click ad to read copy)
Trix—now with Lithium! Stare into the cold, dark eyes of breakfast. This is the most bizarre cereal ad you're likely to ever see.
"Even five-year-old young ladies need a bowl of fruit-color, fruit-flavor Trix to change their morning outlook from grim to gay..."
I see headless Barbies and crushed boy-hearts in her future. previously in cereal: Cerealism with Snap, Crackle, Pop; Honey Bunches of Oats confidential online survey a real cereal killer.

D.C. area condo joins the nationwide real estate ad sluttiness.

(click ad for closer look)
Full-Bodied Amenities? Anyway, senseless piece of Adam & Eve-ish advertising for a condo development just off the Capital Beltway. It joins the "surprisingly doable" Chicago high-rise, Long Island City's "Windows on the Ass" condo, and the "wide-open vag views" offered by an asinine NYC developer. (thanks to Woody Hinkle for the image, from Wednesday's Washington Post Express.)

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Kenneth Cole Raises His "Awearness" Level.

As previously noted (13th bullet), The Worst Copywriter In The History Of Advertising™ now has a blog called "Awearness." And, he's started advertising his new venture (right) on the streets of New York. Too bad somebody else already owns Damn, Kenny! It seemed like such an original and pithy made-up word, huh? I'm sure your lawyers vetted it. It's equally as brilliant as the name of Ken's section of the blog, "Clothes Mindedness." See what he did there? Turned a negative phrase into a positive one? Or an equally negative one? Or a confusing, headache-inducing one, depending on how it hits you? KC's welcome letter is also quite warm and punshiny:
"Just like a cheap, ill-fitting suit, I know you want to get something off your chest, so please sit back, pour yourself a glass of intelligent debate and throw another dialog on the fire..."
Now I know some are you are thinking, "hey asshole, at least he's socially active." And my response is, yes, that is most certainly a very good thing. But this is an ad blog, not an activism blog. And because Mr. Cole continues to shamelessly mix the two to sell merchandise—over and over again—and does so using epically awful puns, I will continue to post his ads. That's my write as a sit-izen!
(see a second ad for Cole's blog @ AskACopywriter)


(click pic for closer look)
So, here's a street "art" photo I found on the Internet. I'll be back after noon with one or two posts. Previously in street "art": my Vienna pics: 3 rats on a dog, sex shop's fish tank window display; TriBeCa Horror Film Festival; it's 9/11—clap your hands say yeah!; fake American Apparel posters; copyranter's new logo; iPod chick's hairy vagina; the Black Lips usurp NYC street ads.
(image found here)

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

In 1976 NYC, even the billboards were allowed to smoke.

(click image for a taste of decadent New York)
Imagine if nanny mayor Michael Bloomberg ran New York City in the 70s. Prim Mary Poppins would've been called in to clean up Times Square, forcing the seven luscious "librarians" at the Library massage parlor (nsfw!) onto the cold, hard streets. And the Marlboro Man would've grabbed his drinking buddy the Winston Man and moved to fucking Paris. (image via flickr)

George Clooney's leathered head being surgically removed from Leatherheads movie posters.

(click ads for closer look)
Anti-Clooneyism, with a dash of anti-commercialism(R).
Along the 6 train line in Manhattan, X-Acto-wielding entertainment terrorists are none to happy with Hollywood's Most Important Actor. It seems they are making a Statement against Clooney's straying from Important Issue films to make a fun, fluffy farce.
But just perhaps, in much the same way the latest Rambo was a satirical take on American Imperialism and Good Luck Chuck tsk-tsked teenage blowjobs, Leatherheads is a veiled attack on today's credit card-endorsing, hormone-infused gridiron giants? related: Bush. American Psycho; "Goblyn" (sic) wants you punx (sic) to see The Golden Compass. (images via AskACopywriter)

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

It's the simplest makeup ad ever. Is it the stupidest?

(click ad for closer look)
Pink ad mean it for me, girl. Thin lashes, boy no call. Thick lashes, boy call. Me go buy Covergirl mascara. Apply to lashes, make them thick. Boy then call. Ladies (and Jared Leto)? Your feelings please? (I'll give the ad one thing—at least they've eschewed the usual close-up smiling female face batting eyes photo. ad by Grey, Buenos Aires. image via.) update: you can also go to PollsBoutique to vote your opinion.

DON'T read too much into this ad...

(click box for closer look)
Well, it's certainly one way to make sure consumers stare lustily at your product. That's "famous" fitness "supermodel" Marzia Prince, 2007 Ms. "Bikini Universe" (here's her myspace page), classily shilling for some body building supplement in a recent copy of Iron Man magazine, of which I am not a subscriber. At least she's spreading her wings a bit, I guess. Anyway—we now have a female ad companion to the Warehouse One dick-in-a-box ad; though it's not the first time we've seen a product placed directly in front of a coochie. related: ABSOLUT VAGINA. (ad posted by MultiCultClassics) update: believe it or not, I am getting REALLY tired of posting this brand of witless ads...

TriBeCa Grand Hotel apparently offers Naked Turndown Service.

(click ad for closer look)
The Worldwide Gratuitous Ad Ass Tour returns to New York City, its first stop here since Kate Moss splayed her derriere over NoHo. FYI non-NYCers—this hotel is a popular sleepover spot for the young celeb set (I've been to the downstairs bar a couple of times, place oozes affectation.). Which still doesn't explain why a nude woman is ghosted over a downtown street in this ad. The only explanation I can think of is of course the most obvious one: some member(s) of the TriBeCa Grand's communications staff simply wanted to watch a long casting-call parade of sashaying female asses. Good for him(s), sense/logic be damned! (scanned from City magazine) previous TriBeCa Grand ad: Nuts on a Woman's Face on a Plate.

Monday, March 17, 2008

NSFW! In 1970s Times Square, even the libraries were sleazy.

(click ad for closer look)
Nowadays, the scariest sights in midtown NYC are skyscrapers with targets on them, or badly-rendered Bill Clinton dolls, or questionably-positioned Sumo wrestlers, or huge animated M&Ms making hooker-faces at you. The few remaining smut outposts are overshadowed by huge Mary Poppins' billboards totally softening your hard-on.
So let's return to the middle of 1976 rush-hour muggings on 42nd Street, to aggressive peep show barkers, to daily skirt-lifting prostitute vagina and jerking-off street man penis "The Library" massage parlor, which was just a block north of the actual New York Public Library. "Complete Satisfaction" for 10 bucks—all gratuities included! Take that, Dewey Decimal! (image source)

If this were the last brand of bourbon on Earth, I would not drink it (and I LOVE bourbon).

(click ad to read copy)
Wild Turkey or Jack Daniels, to answer your first question.
This one line of copy, however, will stop me from ever ordering this over-packaged, over-priced hooch. The only time I would be "on stage" walking into a bar is if the bar somehow happened to actually be on a stage. You got that, you marketing miscreants? "Good Luck" growing your brand with such inane messaging.

Gordon Ramsey's Secret Ingredients—Cursy Powder and Rage (sorry).

(click ads for closer look)
This is apparently how they advertise Shouty Spice in the UK. I'm trying to imagine the shades of red Ramsey's face would turn dealing with me in his Hell's kitchen; my cooking skills include, and are limited to, toasting bread and boiling water (though I am quite proficient at mixing tuna and mayo). Wonder if Gordo's ever sampled Bourdain's bouillabaisse?

Friday, March 14, 2008

Link Haze, 3/14/08.

• Christvertising. (link)
• Williamsburg bars are already honoring New York's hooker-hammerin' governor (right). (link)
• Staying with Spitzer, Virgin Mobile in Toronto was the first advertiser to capitalize on the scandal by producing an ad within 48 hours. (link)
• Speaking of trashy stories, here's a wonderful newish website that post's daily pics of NYC street garbage complete with pointed commentary. (link)
• And speaking of garbage, Urban Outfitters announces their arrival in Brooklyn with a stinky mess of an ad. (link)
• To cover the Latino market, Kleenex turns its new tissue snowball into a tissue soccer ball Goooal! (link)
• Lots and lots of celebrities have their own wines. (link)
• In NYC pedi-cabs become pedi-ads. Ads everywhere! (link)
• Evian brumisateur facial spray (it's just water), $10 a bottle. (link)
• Go behind the scenes of the shoot for the next over-produced Sony Bravia spot, if that interests you in the slightest. (link)
• Pop Tarts® are (still) life. (link)
• Trump's full page ad for The Apprentice in the New York Times this week had at least two glaring typos. The proofreader's FIRED! (link)
• A copywriter has started an advertising poetry blog. He wants your submissions, wordy, creative ad bards. (link)
• Effective TV spot of the week: promoting a 30mph speed limit in England. Thanks to Kevin Erskine for the tip. (link)
• Regional xenophobia via a Lone Star beer billboard. (link)
• The weirdest Insecticide spot you will ever watch. (link)
• Finally, how would you find work if your previous job was as a marijuana smuggler? You'd place a display ad in the classifieds. (link)
This marks my 1,111th post (not counting the scores I've mysteriously deleted). Here was my first.

The reason we haven't found Osama bin Laden yet is because of the soothing, cooling powers of Hall's cough drops.

(click ad for closer look)
Chinese advertising is a special brand of batshit bizarre. They're particularly fond of using military themes for anything and everything, like thermal-nuclear sperm rockets to sell Viagra. Here, in an ad that even our own lax FDA would maybe question, sucking on a Hall's has made the elusive evildoer invisible to infrared detection—that's quite a product benefit! (here's a second ad in the campaign) related: Ricola's ridiculous "mystery cougher" promo.


(click ad for closer look)
Billboard outta New Zealand advertising the TV debut there of the 2000 film American Psycho. (Apparently New Zealanders are really really psyched about this excellent movie.) Expect a hastily-organized noon White House press conference where President George W. Bush will announce that fresh CIA intelligence has revealed that the multi-island nation is harboring known terrorists who are in possession of an unknown amount of WMDs which they intend to unleash upon unsuspecting freedom-loving Americans. "This (billboard) will not stand." related: Manhattan Mini-Storage subway poster that confusingly makes fun of Shotgun Dick Cheney. (image via)

Thursday, March 13, 2008

...and yet another fake explicit American Apparel poster.

(click images for closer look)
Earlier today, we had a "Barely There" diddler (L). And now, a "Stuff this" (R) naked temptress wearing nary a lick of American Apparel clothing or accessories! Oooh, the artist is really pushing the envelope now. And speaking of tight openings, here's the poster that apparently started this wonderful street art exhibit: the tube-socked pooper plunderer.
(latest poster on Crosby @ Bleecker, again via stereohell)

Here's some award-winning ads for batteries that I don't hate.

(click ads for closer look. see third ad in campaign here.)
I DON'T like liking stuff.
Other stuff I've reluctantly liked in the past three years: graphic American Psycho ad; groovy Calgary hemp store ad; nicely creepy Snickers Halloween print ad; sadly wonderful Skittles "Touch" spot;'s Are You A Douchebag? promo; Not one but TWO Old Spice commercials; Holiday Inn TV spots; and the use of Iggy Pop for John Varvatos.

Dynamite. Plunger. Rubble.

More "edgy" minimalistic three-word advertising via Williamsburg's newest eyesore condo with the "edgy" logo. Hey thanks for so blithely organizing my real estate thought process, asshats. (scanned from the back of today's AM New York) related: The TriBeCa Summit's speech impediment advertising.

Another fake American Apparel billboard insertion.

(click image to see insertion)
Actually this time, her finger isn't quite inserted in one of her holes (last time, at least one finger, maybe two, was buried in her pooper). But anyway, I'm glad our prankster continues to bravely fight ad pornography is his or her own ironic and graphically appealing way; though this self-diddling pose will probably just by replicated by the uncreative Mr. Pantsless in some future AA Ribbed Thong or "Tap" Panty ad iteration. (poster on Spring Street, via stereohell)

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

FINALLY! A tampon spot with a beaver.

Not surprisingly, it comes from the Land Down Under (via Sydney ad agency The Brand Shop. Female creatives [yay!] worked on the commercial.) It's for U by Kotex, "for the ultimate care down there." First, France finally acknowledged that blood does in fact come out of vaginas (not some blueish liquid). Now this. How do we advertise tampons in the USA? Lamely. Very Lamely.

Farm Animal Necrophilia Sells Meat Seasoning.

(click ads for closer look)
"The Temptation of Taste." (sigh)
So, via Thailand, facsimiles of farm animal cadavers have been Playmate®-posed to sell meat seasoning. Nice art direction. Unappetizing idea. (we've seen that again and again and again in the food/digestion category.) Maybe it's a Thai thing, but—and I ain't no vegan—showing my future meals ogling me with dead eyes is not tempting. This smells strongly of an ad agency more concerned with industry awards than product sales. A previous Rachachuros seasoning campaign, showing the dead animals eating themselves, was slightly more palatable.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Whose photo shoot was less "ethical?"

(click chicks for closer view)
PETA PETA PETA! Left, retouched professional porn star and leather-scorner Jenna Jameson. Right, retouched amateur porn star and lettuce-bikini-ed Pamela Anderson. Click on them and closely examine their faces and bodies. Who's image looks less like the actual woman? Who would you rather? Vote in the comments! Write funny quips with your votes! Take over this post, ye hilarious readers! (Fuck you, I'm tired.) update: If you want, also go to PollsBoutique to vote your choice.