Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Apple's Christmas Commercial is Transparent Pandering Bullshit

The disaffected Youngs with their faces buried in their fucking screens, win, and you lose, Olds!
What a fucking Santa pants-load of shit, this ad is. How many teenage asswipes across the world will, yes, actually have their faces inconsiderately glued to their fucking phones this Christmas and, no, won't be making a touching little family movie using Airplay and an Apple TV? I'll tell you how many: ALL of them, except for this nonexistent teenager.
What an unsubtle, artless Gen Y & Z demographic blowjob.
The "internet sherpas" at Hypervocal report that all of Twitter is crying over this ad.
You want something to really cry about this Christmas?
Read about the current situation in the Central African Republic, you bunch of clueless fucking wussies.
Ad agency: TBWA\Media Arts Lab.
(Disclosure: I have an iPhone 4S and a MacBook Air, so blow me.)

Monday, December 16, 2013

One of the most incomprehensible ads ever created.

It's via Scott Hoy, Sioux Falls personal injury lawyer.
See a re-imagining of Hoy's holiday ad — which features his floating, talking disembodied head — and many other atrocious December ads, branding, and social media updates in my weekly column on VICE (LINK).

Thursday, December 12, 2013

If Lawyers Wrote Ads

On VICE:  what if lawyers had written some of the greatest ads and taglines from the Mad Men era? They would have been...a lot less great. LINK.

Monday, December 09, 2013

The best Christmas ads for people who hate Christmas ads.

If, like me, you can't stand the seasonal schmaltz, the mushiness, the faux feel good hooey, go to VICE and watch four commercials that actually treat consumers like sentient human beings — including the CANAL+ Nativity ad, above. LINK.

Saturday, December 07, 2013

The "O" stands for Japanese Zeros.

Tora, Tora, Tora, SpaghettiOs and Campbell Soup Company (parent).
Image via. Previously in: Twidiot of the Week.

Friday, December 06, 2013

The two stupidest Nelson Mandela ads ever produced.

(click ads to enlarge)
He was a great man, unquestionably.
And these two ads are not great, unquestionably.
Topan ad for Inchalam nails, by Ogilvy & Mather, Chile. STAY STRONG. No further comment necessary.
Bottoman ad (headline: Life is easier, if you don’t speak up. Debate.) for Denmark’s largest newspaper, Jyllands-Posten — internationally famous for publishing that cartoon of the Prophet Muhammad with a bomb in his turban. Ad agency: Uncle Grey, Denmark. That is some gnarly Photoshop work.
Your call on which one takes the stupid cake.

Monday, December 02, 2013

This is pretty much the most racist commercial I've ever seen.

It's for an Alabama law firm.
That, and more on my weekly ad post on VICE.