Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Apple's Christmas Commercial is Transparent Pandering Bullshit

The disaffected Youngs with their faces buried in their fucking screens, win, and you lose, Olds!
What a fucking Santa pants-load of shit, this ad is. How many teenage asswipes across the world will, yes, actually have their faces inconsiderately glued to their fucking phones this Christmas and, no, won't be making a touching little family movie using Airplay and an Apple TV? I'll tell you how many: ALL of them, except for this nonexistent teenager.
What an unsubtle, artless Gen Y & Z demographic blowjob.
The "internet sherpas" at Hypervocal report that all of Twitter is crying over this ad.
You want something to really cry about this Christmas?
Read about the current situation in the Central African Republic, you bunch of clueless fucking wussies.
Ad agency: TBWA\Media Arts Lab.
(Disclosure: I have an iPhone 4S and a MacBook Air, so blow me.)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are getting so soft in your old age.

4:16 PM  
Anonymous Jacob said...

I had this exact experience. I was working out some wording on a poem on my smartphone, and some guests made a joke about how un-present I was at the dinner table.

I was just writing a poem about my aunts bean salad. I recited it at the end of dinner, and it was lovely.


8:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


11:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You Rock. Your rant was like pure oxygen to me.

2:12 PM  
Blogger steve stoic said...

Yeah, as if. He would be more likely to be texting how lame everything is.

10:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

have some sense of wonder you fucking empty prick

2:14 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

I wonder how much Apple paid for this garbage — how's that, you anonymous gutless wuss who wouldn't say word one to my face because I'd punch yours through the back of your head with one left hand jab.

8:06 PM  
Anonymous Rob Hatfield said...

I, too, am I jaded, cranky old fuck, but I thought the spot was nice. Show the ideal, not the real. Simplicity, surprise and a smile. Why not spread a little hope? Certainly can't hurt in today's world. Have a little faith, baby. All those negative waves...

9:44 AM  
Anonymous Chris said...

"have some sense of wonder you fucking empty prick"

Yes, copyranter, where is your sense of wonder? Nothing expresses the wonder and magic of the holidays like this beautifully-contrived, focus-group approved, piece-of-shit marketing ploy. If forced consumerism and manipulative sales techniques can't melt your crusty, cranky black heart then I don't know what can! Good day sir!

9:58 PM  
Blogger Scott said...

Lighten up, Francis.

11:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why hasn't this blog been bloody updated recently?

4:03 PM  

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