Friday, January 23, 2015

"EAT LESS FOR PUTIN" Propaganda Posters.

The AP reported this morning that Russian Deputy Prime Minister Igor Shuvalov, speaking at Davos, said that the Russian people will "eat less" for their dear leader as the country struggles through a recession and Western sanctions.

Simultaneously, Russia's Ministry of Propaganda, thought to be long defunct, released three posters which they say will be plastered on billboards across the country starting next week.

NOTE: The typeface chosen by the Ministry is "Hunger Games".

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

12 Advertising Headlines That Mean Absolutely Fucking Nothing.

(via some mall in Atlanta)

Shakespeare once described advertising (or maybe it was Life) as "full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." Today, of course, most advertising means little or nothing. But some of it means more nothing than the rest. Here is some of that—a collection I've been compiling for awhile.

(snapped on the Upper West Side)

Well, that's...right? Better than "like smegma".
(I do like the product shot art direction of Stoli's new campaign, very Commie.)

(on an A train)

Forget the "CARPE P.M." groaner pun, focus on the sign-off line. "Most Refreshing"? That doesn't mean "tastiest". What does it mean? The most water? Now add in "The Night's" and the line actually becomes less than meaningless.

(in Times Square)

Latin-based puns are hot now.
If this was an ad for the NSA, it would make sense. But it isn't.

(near Columbus Circle)

Ready for what—besides taking my money? To be robbed? And who's "New York"? Anyway: who had the better beard? Wells? or Fargo?

How about that for a USP? Coffee you can actually drink. Donuts you can actually eat. VISIBLE WORDS YOU CAN ACTUALLY SEE.

The meaningless of this line is headache-inducing, much like cable company customer service. The four words add up to nothing to the power of infinity, xfinity.

(via Australia)

Ad bursting with bullshit.
I see only "OH!" on the bottle. Maybe 'YEAH!" is listed in the ingredients.

(on an A train)

It's in "quotes" I guess to emphasis the spoken-ness. How bout "English"? Is that "spoken" there, stupid New Jersey school of "higher" "learning"?

The shit-beer's all-encompassing, utterly meaningless tagline for a couple years now.
• Friend just got eaten by a bear? PERFECT.
• Sharted? PERFECT.
•Beer-tasting contest? PERFECT.

Not only means nothing, but is about the laziest piece of copywriting I've ever seen. What do I win? Are you giving away a free beer to everybody who sees this ad? Find yourself a new agency, Corona. (Ad is by Cramer-Krasselt.)

(in Penn Station)

Another literal headache-inducer.

Friday, January 09, 2015

What the HELL is going on in this new Shell ad?

(click image to enlarge)

The ad, created by JWT London, was released late last month. It features the Forth Bridge, the iconic cantilever railroad bridge in Scotland. It also features a menacing attack-balloon full of CO2.

The url in the ad leads to this page about the Peterhead CCS Project, whose goal is to capture "up to 10 million tonnes of carbon dioxide emissions...from the Peterhead Power Station." The emissions would be "transported by pipeline offshore for long-term storage deep under the North Sea." This is a drop in the global cooling bucket.
It's always fun when Big Oil trots out their disingenuous "environmental" ads. Before the Gulf Spill, bp featured the cutest alternative energy logo you'll ever see. That logo and program are now as dead as all the wildlife that little oopsie-daisy disaster destroyed, and is still destroying.

Back to the above image. Of all the ways an art director could show "captured CO2", why create this scene?!? First off, that doesn't look like that much CO2—like about from one car from one trip to the country and back. Secondly, as soon as that attack-balloon hits the bridge, it's gonna burst, and all that carbon dioxide will be released into the atmosphere—joining the shittonnes of CO2 created and not captured by petrochemical companies like Shell. The nonflammable explosion will certainly capsize that boat and probably damage the bridge, maybe even destroy it.

Below is a US Shell ad from 2007 that ran in the Wall Street Journal. Yes, those are flowers coming out of Shell smokestacks because, "What we can do is find creative ways to recycle. Greenhouses use our waste CO2 to grow flowers..."

Careful you don't choke on that thick irony.

(click image to enlarge)