Pornocchio.

(click ad) All our sweet Disney icons are nightmarishly being reimagined by the evil ad industry. Last week, Mickey Mouse's freakish four-fingered human hand was ungloved by Disneyland Paris. Now, innocent little Pinocchio is all grown-up, waxed, and buff and whoring Mr. Min wood polish. Nice phallic product shot placement. Hey, at least this modeling gig is a step up from his notorious but wooden adult movie performance (ad by Euro RSCG South Africa, via).