Friday, July 01, 2005


An Ex once challenged me to write a jingle for beano anti-gas tablets in an hour. This was the result. Sung to "Mickey" by Toni Basil. She (not Basil) broke up with me soon after I left this message on her phone. Yes, I sang it.

Oh Beano, you en-zyme
you’re so fine for my behind
Hey Beano! (clap clap, clap clap)
Hey Beano! (clap clap, clap clap)
Soy, Broccoli, Chili, Pasta, Bagels and Oat Bran
Chew 2 pills with gassy foods and put away that fan!
It’s wise to use Beano
Oh what you do Beano, chew Beano
You stop the FARTS, Beano.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

no idea how I got here, but I laughed really hard at the beano jingle

6:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

going through the anals (sic, ha!) of your blog, I come to the golden ticket - the beano jingle - and I admit I'm a little taken with you, copyranter. Wish you worked at my nyc adagency (alas, we aren't that cool).

3:44 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

Caroline, I love you. Thank you. Not to make it worse, but we're cool and small and like a family because half of us have been here since we opened 13 years ago.


11:55 AM  
Blogger ... said...

alternate version:

Oh Beano, you en-zyme
you’re so good for my behind
Hey Beano! (clap clap, clap clap)

by the way, any ex who gives you funtastic challenges like this should NOT be allowed to just walk outta your life without a fight, or at least some crying on her shoes. what are you waiting for? she had ME at hello, but you're the one who knows her address.

1:10 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

poot, good edit. I've made the change.

3:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Has anyone even seriously ever said "farts" in a gas commercial?

8:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Loved that jingle. Did you know Beano just completed a "love letter" contest where they asked for a 100 word love letter to a a Beano food describing how Bean allows you to express your love?

You would've won I'm sure, a trip to Paris for that. However, for some mysterious reason, they published the worst crap letters I ever saw.


12:57 PM  

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