A trillion bucks would buy a lot of Hamburger Helper.

(click ad) Yeah, but have you checked the price of meat lately? You want some seriously cheap financial bailout packages? National Wholesale Liquidators here in NYC, currently holding a going out of business rakes/douche/pussy wax sale, is selling their remaining supply of Ramen instant noodles for half price—16 fucking cents per pack. That's a nutritious, delicious, and judicious meal, General motherfuckin' Mills (via Cossette Communications in Toronto). Previously in cheap, disgusting foodstuffs.