Your clothes can never be too black, and you, too skinny.

(click ads) Hey fat people? Everybody knows you look a little less fat in all black. So keep your extensive black wardrobe blacker longer with new Cheer Dark. Along with your new fatty-safe Vespa, Misshapes haircut, and chicly radical Williamsburg address, it'll help with your slow metamorphosis into a bony-ass hipster/artist (images via).