Thursday, August 11, 2005

Smart Media Placement, Starbucks.


HEY!!! Starbucks is right! I'll just run downstairs right now. WEEEE! Wait. Where is my backdoor? OHHH, I don't HAVE a backyard. That's OK!! I'll just head down Houston Street to my good friend Jimmy's pla...wait...he doesn't have a backyard either...

14 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Die vegan hippies. I hope Starbucks fucks your mothers.

7:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

like, that's totally harsh, man.

7:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

at least you can take a shit for free at starbucks

8:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jesus, can we just fucking secede already?

8:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm frappies. fuck off you pc bullshitters. it all died ages ago.

8:44 PM  
Anonymous Chimpy McCokespoon said...

I want to cry when I think about Satrbucks and the corporatization of this country.

8:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what a bunch of hipster retards. you know what, you losers need to call your dad and mom and tell them you hate them and that you dont need their money, dont take it out on the one fast food chain that gives its employees health and retirement benefits. boutiques and mom and pops are a luxury for the rest of us.

9:28 PM  
Anonymous ex-new-yorker-who-identifies said...

dear hillmarky, i think your post is hilarious. dear anonymous (and you seem to be one person posting multiple times), don't take out your bitterness at being stuck somwhere with no independent businesses on some random blogger in new york. also: maybe get off the internet a little. and also: maybe move.

2:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One more reason LA wins.

11:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the blog entry is just about how the particular Starbucks ad does not speak to the area in which it was placed. A billboard on Houston St. is about $10,000/month - so for a big biz company to overlook that we New Yorkers don't have backyards is a silly waste of money. This excess is what causes people to hate big biz. But I also don't think it's a bad thing to support American retail companies that provide healthcare to all empolyees.

11:49 AM  
Blogger Sam Cohen said...

Hillmarky, you're witty.

Your anonymous posters, however, are fucking tools. They should be sodomized with gardening implements wielded by rabid silverback mountain gorillas on PCP. I have a couple in my backyard if you want to borrow them...

Oh yeah, and all corporate arguments aside, burnt coffee sucks. Starbucks sells consistently burnt coffee. Ergo, starbucks sucks- I could care less about their corporate policies, which from what I've seen are actually not all that bad. I've read their weird little training manuals, and no less than 10 pages are devoted to teaching their employees how to explain to customers that the coffee isn't burnt, it's "Earthy" or "Rich." It's fucking burnt coffee made with overroasted beans. It sucks.

So anyhoo, go fuck yourselves, anonymouses.

Cheers,
SC

2:58 PM  
Anonymous phonemicwarrior said...

Look, the coffee at Starbucks is not burnt. At the very worst it is old, if it is not thrown away and rebrewed each hour as is required. They roast it all themselves, and there is pretty rigorous quality control.

A lot of people just aren't used to tasting what actual coffee beans are like, especially single-origin roasts that have a geographically distinct flavor. Lucky for you, there is usually a "Mild" coffee available. Or, where I live, you can just go to Dunkin' Donuts and drink their "coffee", which I think tastes like watered-down battery acid.

I work at SBUX now while I am finishing grad school. This annoying complaint about burnt coffee is the same as when people with underdeveloped taste at the wine shop used to tell me that the red wines I recommended were "sour" or "yucky". Go drink some White Zinfandel (or a Caramel Frappuccino) and leave me alone. Good benefits still aren't worth this bullshit.

1:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

amen

7:59 PM  
Blogger estifallen said...

I imagine heaven to be a large starbucks location in which Aliens are fighting predators in the downstairs section, and every two hours they take a break to drink delicious coffee and I can talk to them.

1:49 AM  

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