Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Mini Naomi Campbell Terrorizes Sleeping Maid.


(AP) New York—Captured here on a surveillance camera in her maid's very red bedroom, mini Naomi Campbell was arrested this morning for mini-assault with a mini-cellphone, marking the 10th time in 8 years the tempestuous 36-year-old supermodel has been booked for battery.
Said Rosalita Jones, Campbell's 493th maid in the last decade, "I felt a little something hit my cheek, and I saw little Miss Naomi standing on my chest in her tiny blue cotton structured suit. Her teeny face was very angry. I think she was yelling something about she needed a size -157 not -158. It was hard to make out exactly what she was saying."
After refusing to explain why she was now under a foot tall, mini Campbell was soaked with mace by an unidentified NYPD officer and stuffed in his breast pocket for the trip to an undisclosed Manhattan North precinct. She is currently being held without bail in an empty water cooler bottle.
Cotton Incorporated's President and CEO J. Berrye Worsham reportedly has already sent a size -157 of the outfit to Campbell's residence via courier.
(ad scanned from WWD)

previous cottoninc posts:

1. Models lighter than Cotton.
2. Cotton. The fabric of their size double zero lives.

7 Comments:

Anonymous The Georgia Peach said...

Do you suppose the room is red to symbolize Naomini's inner rage?

3:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Naomini" is GREAT, peach

I personally like the precarious balancing act

4:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd fuck Naomi.

8:12 PM  
Blogger David said...

I was so going to make a comment just like Anonymous above, and as the screen loaded I just knew it had already been made.

However, I'd do the doll as well.

8:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmm... Y'know I'm still on the fence regarding fucking the doll.

I guess I'd fuck her.

Not exactly the wooden Indonesian dolls from my 1970's youth (http://www.lotzdollpages.com/lprod.html#Rod%20Puppets:%20Indonesia), but it'll do.

I'd have to imagine Diahann Carroll as nurse "Julia" doggy style (http://scoop.diamondgalleries.com/news_images/9248_25881_1.jpg).

10:45 PM  
Blogger Scamp said...

The maid is in the drawer

10:28 AM  
Anonymous Von K said...

Am I stupid or do these doll-based ads make no sense whatsoever?

Those are the only choices I'm giving--I assume they are mutially exclusive.

12:47 PM  

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