Biggest Brand Social Media Dipshits of 2014.
I've noticed that, more and more, EVERY DAY! you all are trying so hard! to be my "friend"! But! You also "love" (!!!) ALL your "fans" and "followers"! But! What you really love are "Likes" and "Favorites"! You call it "Engagement"! You wanna be "engaged" with your fans and followers!
I've also noticed that you really love listicles!!!!!
Well, here's a fucking listicle for you.
Listed from bad to the worst.
Instead of taking the tiniest bit time to be original, Brand Twidiots desperately look to their social media calendars for the next "event" onto which they can awkwardly piggyback their product. The juvenile and yet unfunny DiGiorno feed wins for the blatantly braindeadiest piggybacking of 2014. This tweet is just the worst one of a continuously swirling cesspool of shit "content". Laughing at yourself doesn't make it any less stupid, dipshit. At least they're consistent with the tone of their moronic brand messaging: this perfectly matches their shit-awful TV commercials.
To BK's Kiwi Facebook page, and the worst case of comment grubbing of 2014, and maybe ever. This is like a special-ed test, except instead of getting placed with the regular 1st graders, you get a fucking sandwich. Hey they're giving away a whole five of them! I wonder how many people did it incorrectly, and went back in and edited. Who's being subservient now, bitch-ass fans?
And, the clear Social Media Dipshit winner this year so far is the Kellogg's poptarts411 Twitter feed—for just going right ahead and launching the brand right into the middle of the Israeli-Palestinian war. Hey, not-blown-up children love Pop-Tarts! Both of these tweets are from the last few days. "World peace starts with being nice to each other..." Got that, John Kerry? Maybe CEO John Bryant should start a Kellogg's Marshall Plan and air-drop in peanut butter Pop-Tarts for both sides. Cease fire! Yummy (non-kosher) battle break! #GoneNutty
PREVIOUSLY: See more Social Media Dipshitiness here on VICE.
MAIN SOURCE: the Condescending Corporate Brand Facebook page. Click the link and follow them, dipshits, for indispensable tips on how not to be a dipshit. They update daily.
NOTE: this list will be updated at year's end.
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