Monday, March 05, 2007

BREAKING: Bronx beaver brainchild of Balazs.

I had suspected something the moment the story broke. Then, after spotting this ad in Sunday's New York Times real estate section, I sprang into action. Late last night, I broke into André Balazs' AB Properties offices in the Puck Building. After disabling his high tech alarm system, I started jimmying the cabinets. Bingo, there it was! Under 'B' even...a full file on "André" (not José) the Bronx Beaver. Balazs you sly Bitch! Planting the cute fella in the Bronx river. What's your next scheme? The fake kidnapping of Jerry Mathers?
previously in William Beaver House ads:
1. Hey Beaver, damn if you ain't infringing on a copyright.
2. The Beav's plans featured much much more wood.
3. Dean Balazs will NOT tolerate wild parties...
4. André Balazs has a new Black Beaver.


Blogger New York Punk said...

This post is too complicated for me to comment.

1:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You've got to love the Kenneth Cole-circa-1994-or-whenever-K&B's-heyday-was construction of the headline.

10:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay, the beaver is on the NYC coat of arms. But where does chopped liver come in? Free samples in the lobby?

3:45 PM  

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