Tuesday, March 06, 2007

EXCLUSIVE—Simon Cowell smokes Kools.

(click images for closer look)
Since I have never intentionally watched one nanosecond of American Idol, I thought I'd deliver this pathetic piece of gossip minutiae. It also appears that Cowell is quaffing a Heineken, possibly just because the green bottle matches his Kools. Also pictured, The Osbournes; Sharon looks nicely toasted and Ozzy looks thrilled to be in the pages of Advertising Age with OK! publisher Richard Desmond's arm around him. Long way from War Pigs, ain't it John Michael? Sorry, forgot you're going deaf—LONG WAY FROM WAR PIGS, AIN'T IT JOHN MICHAEL? (photo from the Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar® party)
previously in celebs:
1. What's next Burt? Burt's Bees?
2. Right Gwynnie. And I'm Martian.
3. Can't spell "anthropomorphism" without Mohr.
4. copyranter celeb dish #1: Dennis Miller vs. JK Simmons.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cowell: can't stand his above it all act. Especially since, if it weren't for the brain challenged, he'd be a nowhere man.
Ozzy: by the look of 'im a prime candidate for the death pool.

9:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He's just holding them for the 19 year-old piece of ass he brought to this borefest.

She's off camera, fetching herself a Red Bull and Absolut Citron.

10:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuckin Ozzy. He thinks he’s still standing next to Sharon.

10:47 AM  
Blogger dancing at gunpoint said...

Simon Cowell is British, and all British people know that if you smoke menthols you don't have to brush your teeth. The mint is built right in!

5:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I bet Ozzy believes he's actually in 1972, and all this shit going on is nothing but an annoyingly long, bad trip...

9:53 AM  

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