Sunday, September 28, 2014

More Awful Stock Photos Turned Into Awful Ads.

If you spend more than a normal amount of time online, you've probably noticed more and more "professional" bloggers turning to stock photos for quick stupid posts. This movement really picked up momentum about four years ago with the "women laughing alone with salad" post on The Hairpin.

Lazy bloggers subsequently said to themselves: "Hey, I'll just type some stupid phrase into Getty, post the photos without comment, and reap traffic rewards!

I say fuck all you newbie stock photo abusers. As I wrote in my first "awful stock photos turned into awful ads" post, us ad creatives of a certain age have been forced to use shit-awful stock photos since before they were online. My psychological stock photo wounds are deep and numerous.

So, yeah. Here's some more.

Click Ads To Enlarge.

Lacoste is of course known for their stupid ad creative linchpin of "models jumping". Why jumping? Because in-house fashion creative directors wouldn't know a good conceptual idea if it fucked them in the ass. I think Lacoste should transition into a "crocodile wrestling" linchpin direction.

The "business teamwork" stock collections feature some of the most terribly conceived ideas ever snapped. I couldn't decide which of these made the worst Cisco ad, so you get em both.

I actually think this is a pretty good ad for Denny's Grand Slam Breakfast targeting the "chai latte hipster" demo.

GET IT? "Blue" Nun?

Not as bad/good as the Cialis ad from the first batch (2nd ad down), but it does/doesn't work pretty well.

If I was MixedLuv's CEO, I'd run this ad full-page double-truck in the Wall Street Journal tomorrow.

I'm sure all you New Yorkers are dying to know what Dr. Z's secret is.
Getty title of this photo is: "Young Woman Portrait".

The Thinkstock title of this photo is: "Angry Old Man".
He is me.

It's business time.

I did a Monster ad last time, too.
I think this one is worse/better.

Ello, the hot new social network doesn't even have a logo yet, let alone advertising. I, and stock photos, got you firestarter entrepreneurs covered, though.

What the fuck else am I supposed to do with a turkey shitting stuffing?

Goldman, famous for their female-friendly work environment, recently launched this bullshit 10,000 Women program to supposedly support lady-owned small businesses.

Title" "Dead Woman". That's it, that's all it said.
So, since business magazines are dying...

Getty title: "Senior Woman Soaring Through Sky".
They left out TO HER DEATH.

Previously: Awful Stock Photos Turned Into Awful Ads, Part 1.


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