Anthropomorphism, to the power of Retarded.
(lots of scare quotes in this post, for obvious damn good reasons)
New York is "the grand dojo of hanging out," says new NYC water "Fred." According to Fred's myspace page, "He's" a 28-year-old male Aquarius who'd like to meet "people that are cool." He has 117 "friends." "Anna" is bummed because she's not in Fred's Top 8, even though she "suck(s) on him all day long." Fred costs 36 bucks a case. But, if you want Fred delivered outside of the NYC area, the douchecap charges 25 dollars shipping per case.
Tip from Kelly, at The Unbearable Heaviness of Being. [link.]
previously in Anthropomorphism:
1. Worst. Anthropomorphism. Ever.
2. Anthropomorphism with Jay Mohr.
3. Again, I'm yelling at a bottle of cognac.