"On The 4th Evil Day of Christmas, Part II..."
It's the fat elf cop of Orange County, Florida. The joyous sheriffs operating this cute little speed trap handed out 150 tickets in 2 hours. Said sheriff Tom Wyne: "...that's why we didn't pick Santa or a nativity scene, we picked an elf because an elf is known for his impish behavior..." DoucheBag. (link)Last Year: "They saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus..."
posted by copyranter @ 1:30 PM
13 Comments:
I HATE cops.
They're fuckin' useless and all they do is bust balls.
Car stolen? It's only recovered if it gets towed. Cops won't actually look for it.
Home burgaled? Fill out a police report for the insurance. Cops won't actually investigate.
I could go on and on...
Elves are also known for not having genitalia and saying things like "My name is Mithriel; I eat gossamer." A little creepy and not good at all. Their creepy factor is right up there with clowns and those ice cream guys who drive around neighborhoods looking for children.
What is it with Americans? Even when they're handing you a ticket they wanna do it cute. Everybody wants to be a loveable little fuzzball...and bash your brains in...and be loved for doing it. Oh how adoreable, how adoreable...hit me again why don't you, you cutey you. Aargh.
He could dress up like a giant dildo for all I care. But I'm glad he's catching speeders.
//What is it with Americans?//
Deep comment there, Karl-Heinz. Really deep. Never heard it before.
Leave it to EuroTrash to take a light, funny subject and make it unbearably "profound."
Anonymous #1 : blame the guy that stole the car or the burglar that ransacked your house, not the police.
Everyone else : you gotta have some fun at your job, change it up once in a while...although I'd NEVER wear an elf suit, I might dress like a hooker for "Operation Angel" nights (all you perverts know what that is)
EuroTrash. Moi? C'est rire!
The cops are now considering dressing up as the Three Wise Men and are actively recruiting for a midget who will be Baby Jesus with a radar gun.
Jewish motorists, I understand, are not taking this lightly and are lobbying for the creation of a radar gun that looks like a Menorah.
Yes, MTLB... I'd fuck him. Fuck him 'til the smell of his sickly sweet Krispy Kreme infused pig musk filled the room. De-li-cious.
You know what? Thank God for cops who bust speeders. There are so many arrogant (sometimes drunken) cum-sacks racing around in gigantic SUVs on the way to and from Wal-Mart this time of year. Why should I have to worry about getting taken out by one of them?
If I may ignore chris's "serious" comment, and thank anon I'd fuck him/her/it for the best fuck-a-cop sentence ever written.
I don't know what came over me. It won't happen again. I don't know what it is about that stupid "elf-skin" outfit that reminds me of Silence of the Lambs. "It rubs the lotion on the skin..."
Orange County finds more seasonal ticket-writing spirit.
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/local/orange/orl-bk-leprechaun031507,0,6729744.story?track=mostemailedlink
Same police department, different bag.
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