I read Penis Enlargement Spam Emails so you don't have to.
Time again to file a report on the mad copywriting skills of spammers. Last time, I was duly impressed with the awkward but powerful tagline for the Penis Patch™. However, the Shakespearean scribe selling the ManSter herbal penis enlargement supplement puts the Penis Patch pitchers to shame. What imagination! What flair! Just take a look at these sample email subject lines found in my Spam box:
• Have you ever felt a kiss of a womb?
• Positive changes in your sexual life are not a chimera.
Kiss of a womb! Chimera!! Brilliant!!!
And then there was this ode from the bawdy bard writing e-missives for the supplement MegaDik:
Now that you've met a lass that's hot
You wanna screw her moistened twat.
She's full of passion, she's so nice!
But would your penile size suffice?
Not sure she will long for more?
You need a wang she would adore!
But how to get it long and thick?
Your only chance is MegaDik!
You'll get so wanted super-size
And see wild craving in her eyes!
Your shaft will stuff her box so deep,
Tonight you'll hardly fall asleep!
Robert Frost reincarnated?
previously in The Penis:
1. copyranter mans a glory hole.
2. NYU condom instructions booth.
3. VIVA VIAGRA! It's the Whiskey Dicks!
4. NYC graffiti I understand: the penis fart.
5. Strawberry Bush & Raspberry Jam AquaGlide.