(click ad, from 1971, via) "My Career Club rayon body shirt fucks better than your shirt. It eats pussy better than your shirt. It drives faster than your shirt. It punches harder than your shirt. This blonde? She'd rather fuck my shirt than you. She has fucked my shirt before. Today. The six times a day we do fuck, she makes me keep the shirt on. She handwashes the shirt every day. I wear the shirt every day. Don't worry. I have six more new ones exactly like it. Your favorite shirt is piss with buttons. These are my pants, by the way."
Previously in: the 70s.