Also, make him get a goddamn man's haircut.
(click ad, from a 1974 Woman's Day, via) Jesus, sweetheart. That pussy's hair is purtier than yours. Throw out his Vidal Sassoon conditioner, send him to the local cheap barber to get a flat-top, and make him change the oil in your VW Thing. When he's done, punch him in the face as hard as you can. While he's in the bathroom staunching the blood, liberally apply some Emaraude. The fuck of your life will commence shortly. Previously in: Sexy 70s Sexism.