Everybody! Please judge this student spot for Sharpie pens.
Emailed to me by the student. I won't name him. I also won't judge him—that's up to you flamethrowers! I get written to a lot by students, for some unknown reason, asking about this business, which as they soon find out, is a big mistake. So don't write me—unless you got ads you want scorched.
Previous student ads: 7-Eleven (I like them!) • Hubba Bubba. (meh).
16 Comments:
I believe in highly technical terms, "that's a long way to drive to find out the diner is closed".
The acting kinda sunk it for me, particularly the ear-itching pastor, and I think if it'd actually been 30 seconds, it would have been tighter & much better.
Well cast. Well directed. The concept is unique. Nice reveal. Will it sell Sharpies to douchebags? Eh...
Cute concept. Pacing was fucked. Sometimes the dreaded :30 limitation is a good thing, especially when the payoff is so slight. I won't go on about the acting or direction since you wouldn't be responsible for that in the real world.
good production. bad ending. they need to ask themselves, "will it make people want to buy sharpie?" you can be funny and still sell product, but it needs a better concept. my guess, it was one of the first ideas...work harder at it.
Rubbish.
The aspect ratio needs to be tweaked.
Engaging, suspenseful and not so predictable!
All the way up to the surprising ending, I'm thinking, what caused the palpable tension, mostly on the bride side?
Did the groom chastise his bride-to-be, just as she was given away by her doting father, for not respecting his prior wish?
"As far as flowers, (he had informed them) take your pick, except for those overblown, showy hydrangeas... I absolutely loathe them!"
But most of all, I appreciate the not so subtle reminder: "Lord, protect me from my friends; I can take care of my enemies."
a funnier ending would have been, 'I don't" right in the middle of his forehead
I like it a lot. Sharpie's unique selling feature is the permanence of its ink. This spot reminds us of that fact while also entertaining us. The only FAIL is the throwaway tag line.
Pacing is off. Limit the time to :30. Cheers to the kid for asking this group of wolves to dissect it.
For fucks sake it doesn't even make any sense.
Why wouldn't the dude just clean off the marker?
I know what you're thinking. Because there's never a dull moment. But you can still clean fucking marker off your face.
This would make a good ad for a combo tequila-bar/tattoo-parlour maybe.
^ Really?! How does it not make sense? It's a PERMANENT marker. If you took a good look you would have noticed that the marks were actually faded to show that he had tried cleaning it off, but it didn't work.. because he used a PERMANENT marker!!!
I like it, agree that it needs to be MUCH tighter
But I'd chuckle appreciatively if I saw that one tv as well as remember it next time I was strolling down the office supplies aisle.
I saw the ending coming a mile away, but I still gave it a slight chuckle. Will it redefine the way students do TV? Probably not. But it's a nice little commercial that will stick around in a portfolio for a couple of years until some real TV replaces it. I even think cutting it into a :30 is cutting it too long. You can tell the story in a :15. Shot of the perturbed bride. Shot of the chuckling groomsmen. Pay off shot. End line. Short. Sweet. And tells creative directors that you know how not to over tell a story.
All in all, on a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give it a B-minus.
"Never a dull moment" ? terrible line, should have been something like "Sharpie is permanent... for better or worse." or whatever
Major Fail. That's the LAST application Sharpie wants to be known for. It reeks of frat party. Or "The Hangover".
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