Matchbox Molds Little Soulless Killers.

(click ads) Children of War. Hey, I played army growing up, and killed many a neighborhood kid, some multiple times (I never got hit). And being an only child, I also played a lot of bedroom army, setting up epic illogical WWII toy battle fronts. But these Matchbox ads via Ogilvy & Mather in Singapore are just creepy and depressing (They appear to be real—full agency credits are listed.). I get the point: Matchbox makes realistic little war machine replicas. But what's with the thousand-mile stares on the young faux dogfaces? Why not also splatter some blood on tank boy's uni? These may be worse than the New Zealand armed forces recruitment ads that used designer toy soldiers and Tetris imagery to entice teens.

Stupid US Marines ad is stupid.

(click ad, via)
The Few. The Proud. The Constipated.
Note the flies. He is shitting.
Ad agency: JWT Atlanta.
Related: a round-up of weird/bad armed forces ads from around the world, including England, New Zealand, and Sweden.

New Zealand looking for a few good...Tetris players.

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Officer recruitment ads for the New Zealand army (here's a third one). Well uh, Tetris is one of the biggest time-wasters in the history of humanity. And, I guess (somebody please help me here), the Kiwi defense department thinks that people who are obsessed with fucking Tetris would make good leaders(?) because, um, I think...I think...I...DON'T HAVE A FUCKING CLUE! Jesus, the first ad up there has wounded soldiers on stretchers! Way to go, Captain! Your company got massacred—but at least you arranged the casualties in neat little Tetrominoes! Here's a fucking gold star! Previously in armed forces advertising:
UK army recruitment ad looks like a black body bag; Me Tarzan. You Jane. Army Strong™. Commercial Weak; an Army of One Model/Actress; and Sweden's bizarre officer recruitment TV spots.

UK Army recruitment ad looks like a little body bag.

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The UK Army is looking for a few directionless men (and women). And, just in case these rutted individuals didn't already feel fucking depressed enough about their bleak lives to call, text, or click, Publicis London made the double-page recruitment ad a pure, deep, heavy, textured BLACK. —which, as mentioned, looks quite a bit like a body bag. Art directors love them some black, don't they? Go from a rut to a hole, mate. previous armed forces recruitment ads: become part of our impenetrable shield; Me Tarzan. You Jane. Army Strong. Commercial Weak. An army of one model/actress; and the Swedish army's bizarre recruitment TV spots.

New Zealand Army seeks childish shrinks/chefs.

(click ads) Serving in the Kiwi armed forces is all fun and games—wee! Previously, Saatchi & Saatchi NZ used cutesy Tetris imagery in officer recruitment print ads. Now, they've made me long for the days of my only-child youth, setting up bags-full of green US and gray German plastic army men and tanks, and staging epic, illogical, all-day WWII battles in my upstairs bedroom. And with some of these fancy designer toy soldiers, I could have set up behind-the-lines kitchens and, uh, psychiatric offices. Modern warfare is so sophisticated (images via). previously in army recruitment ads: UK army. Swedish army. US army one, two.