CAPTION TOM CRUISE!!!
(click pic to enlarge)That's right! I'm lazily posting a celeb pic for captioning! Just like all the lazy celeb blogs out there in lazy CyberVille. Here Scientology's Soul (I mean, "Thetan") Man traipses right past a pile of good old-fashioned Manhattan morning puke without stopping to clean it up! Cruise says that Scientologists can't ride past a car accident without stopping because they're the only ones who can truly help. So, why didn't Tom pull out his hand-held E-meter and audit the vomit for spiritual purity? ANYWAY, Caption Contest! Whoever writes the best caption in the comments wins one of my coveted Bacon Wristbands! GO! (To the previous winners who haven't received their meat-like accouterments yet, it's because I haven't ordered them yet! But you will get it, I swear! The first-round winners all received theirs...UPDATE: contest is open through end of business Friday.
(image via)
posted by copyranter @ 10:30 AM
19 Comments:
You might think cleaning up that puke would be Risky Business, but even Thetan the Cretin Tom knew it was Mission: Impossible.
"I think it's a privilege to call yourself a vomit avoider and
it's something that you have to earn. Because a vomit avoider DOES. Being a vomit avoider you look at vomit and you know absolutely that you can avoid it. So for me it really is 'Keeping Vomit Away.' That vomit there to me, when I saw it I just went,'This is IT, this is exactly IT.'"
I already got one but I wanted to throw this one up, uh, out there:
Some Scientologists wait a whole career to see a pile of vomit up close. Lucky and famous?
Speaking of bacon and totally off topic of puke... but this combines 2 things you love... Bacon and Vodka!
http://www.browniepointsblog.com/2008/01/20/homemade-bacon-vodka/
"Note to self: No more strawberry milkshakes before appearing on Oprah."
"Looks like Tom Cruise put his ethics in someone again."
copyranter, why are you such an SP?
"WOAH PUKE....GO GO GADJET HEELS"
"Vanilla shampoo."
At first sight of the vomit, Tom's excitement quickly withered, realizing he had just missed the 10th Annual America's Next Top Model Parade.
Looks a bit like Jason Schwartzman.
You can't handle the puke!
Cruise instantly determined that the vomit was not, in fact, an accident. Therefore, he continued on his way, since no help was needed.
57th street vomit stain spews religious theory to audience
Hmmm...(thinks Tom) that big splash reminds me of the big load of jizz I took in my face this morning.
Cruise is seen here walking away from his last film.
It was hard for Tom to further deny that Suri was actually L. Ron Hubbard's baby after a 3 gallons of L. Ron's sperm fell out of Tom's jacket pocket this morning.
For Moses, God parted the red sea.
For Cruise, science gave him the power him to cross the vomit unscathed.
I So Cool. I Smell Something? No. Just Me. So Cool.
"See what you make me do, Katie?"
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