On online dating advertising
Here, you have the two extremes: True—with the “Stick Your Dick Here” come ons; and eHarmony’s freaky Dr. Neil Clark Warren (I don’t trust people with two first names, let alone three) basically guaranteeing you’ll meet your “soulmate.” BWAAHAAHAA! I think “stalemate" is much more likely.
Dr Neil, is all handsy-on, cuddling you through the cold online process with his 400 plus questions and 12-CD Coaching Series™. TWELVE CDs. You GOTTA be fucking kidding me. Will he also fluff me? This is the biggest scam since “come back to my cave and see my drawings.”
Meanwhile, on True, it’s tit-fucking.
id vs. superego. dick vs. soul. fake tits vs. false advertising.
Where the hell’s my bottle?