Thursday, October 06, 2005

On online dating advertising


Here, you have the two extremes: True—with the “Stick Your Dick Here” come ons; and eHarmony’s freaky Dr. Neil Clark Warren (I don’t trust people with two first names, let alone three) basically guaranteeing you’ll meet your “soulmate.” BWAAHAAHAA! I think “stalemate" is much more likely.
Dr Neil, is all handsy-on, cuddling you through the cold online process with his 400 plus questions and 12-CD Coaching Series™. TWELVE CDs. You GOTTA be fucking kidding me. Will he also fluff me? This is the biggest scam since “come back to my cave and see my drawings.”
Meanwhile, on True, it’s tit-fucking.
id vs. superego. dick vs. soul. fake tits vs. false advertising.
Where the hell’s my bottle?

17 Comments:

Blogger ohoney said...

Cr
That evangelistic guy scares me, he must have a secret necklace that spells out slave in diamonds scare me, boo! btw, what's fluff?

oh7

2:07 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

o honey ohoney,

type in "fluffer" on google.

2:45 PM  
Blogger LisaBinDaCity said...

eharmony gives me the creeps as does Dr. Neil, (PhD or real doc?) What he also neglects to mention is that it is a predominantly christian based dating site. Several friends signed up and eharmony wanted so much info it was downright scary. And after that still no good dates for my very cute, fun friends!

Ewwwww.

3:16 PM  
Blogger ohoney said...

Copyranter:
I be shock-ed. SHOCKED! Where do you ahem-come up w/ this stuff,
stop making me laugh
stop it

Miss o

5:25 PM  
Blogger The Assimilated Negro said...

this is funny and "true"

but True definitely wins here. In a pinch (say you're browser gets locked on Hotmail for two days straight) those ads can still have utilitarian value.

You're shit out of luck with Dr. Paul Steven Gregg.

Well, unless you're an 80-year old white female.

We need a hip hop version. Have the rapper pouring his beer all over a thonged-up ass.

"Belong To Be-Thong" dot com

hmmm... maybe not. but cut me some slack, it's a comment.

By the way I shout you out again on TAN. I'm going to kill myself during Ad Week next year and get a little posthumous buzz going.

9:35 PM  
Blogger kristine said...

gak. old man fluffer?

i think he works for the government. they need to make him the next character that appears on Lost. that'd be hot.

1:43 PM  
Anonymous lovebite dating services said...

Hi copyranter. We are busy with market research about dating website and came across this post. We have found more than we have bargained for. Thank you for a Gr8 post. We have a silmilar service at dating website and would like to trade links with you should you be interested.

2:04 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

Dear lovebite: BITE ME.

sincerely
copyranter

2:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, those true advertisements make my skin crawl. What woman would want to be represented to a sea of single men by closeups of tits? I sure don't. I have complained a few times. Hey, if more women/men would say somethin, maybe people would stop objectifying women in every way possible!!!

11:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I always tried to avoid eharmony, never did understand why they became so hot?

Gay Dating

Regards,
David

1:45 PM  
Blogger AmDating said...

The only thing that seems to be hot are the models (or their body parts?), not the actual members. I am surprised they are using those marketing tactics in their ads. I know, that's the segment they are trying to target, but does it reflect their actual audience?

Compare their members to girls listed on various Russian brides sites. A lot of scam, fake profiles, but some sites are legitimate and the women listed on them are ultra beautiful. There was one I came across recently called Loversplanet.com Brides - very different in quality of profiles to any local US dating site!

11:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The advances that have been made in funny life are huge. We thought it a good idea to collate all the information available in one place so you can get the most out of funny life.

10:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the site www.later-dater.com absolutely takes shots at the typical online dating sites.

8:55 PM  
Anonymous funny pictures said...

Better a stale mate than no mate. If it comes with a money back guarantee, what have you lost. Just a little time with some warm, and cuddily person.

For funny pictures visit my blog.

9:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi!
I like your story.
But you'd better take a look here to find a really DIFFERENT dating site.
Looks amazing, agree? :-)
You can also find my pics and more about me on my page www.livedatesearch.com/jessica
Read more about me or drop me a message from there.
Chao!
Jessica

5:26 AM  
Anonymous kyle said...

kisscafe.com is a pretty cool dating site. They're all about protecting the environment.

It's an honest site. No people with fake profiles, eHarmony’s freaky Dr. Neil Clark Warren or other crap. Just an honest dating site. And it's free. That's where I go for dates.

1:10 AM  
Blogger Morrigan said...

www.fleshnfantasy.com

An honest Dating Site!!
No fake profiles and every profile is manually approved to ensure no scammers or spammers!
A site where the members get a say in how things run.

Join now...You wont be disappointed :)

5:36 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home