Great (cough) idea.
Swiss herbal cough drop maker Ricola (They don’t work any better than a Jolly Rancher, believe me. I worked on a Ricola pitch as a freelancer. Taste good though.) is running a promotion this Winter wherein a person who gives the “Mystery Cougher”—an actor fake coughing—a Ricola cough drop may win a million bucks. The supposed Cougher will supposedly be in NYC this Friday.Yeah, Riiiiight.
Let’s take a look-see at this moment in Promotion Retardation from a local POV. I’ll use Marketing Director-friendly (Most of them are illiterate, believe me. I write their business letters.) Bullet Points:
• Have you Dillweeds ever riddin’ a subway? A person could blow through a case during one 20 minute trip without moving his/her feet. More importantly, the cough drop giver-outer would also probably be socked/stabbed/spit on 4-5 times. That’s a conservative estimate.
• Because... city people don’t like to be looked at, let alone talked to, LET ALONE offered a FUCKING cough drop from a FUCKING stranger that could be poison in a Ricola wrapper for all we know.
• Could you have AT THE LEAST included a disclaimer eliminating all the poor sick cold homeless folk as the potential mystery hacker?
• This Promotion is of course Bullshit, people. There is NO mystery cougher. Oh, the million bucks will be “given away”—to some fucking patsy in Buttfuck, Redstate.
posted by copyranter @ 8:38 AM
13 Comments:
Oh, i just can't WAIT for this trend to take off! The Mystery Farter promtion by Bean-o! The Mystery Cold Sore-Haver sponsored by Carmex! Yippee!
It's the truth! I would never take a cough drop from some random person on the street and even with this stupid promotion, I wouldn't want to offer someone else one either.
I wonder who's genius idea this promotion was.
By all means, make fun of the marketing people. But be careful of making fun of Ricola, or the following might come to pass:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/43956
dearest anon(s): I apologize for my harsh words; I have removed that there comment where I called you a nerd-twat. Because it is the people, the anon people, that make this land—which is yours & mine—great. However, this blog is NOT yours and mine. It is just mine. So I will from now on delete with a swift finger of justice any fucking comment I fucking feel like, got it? It is either this, or eliminate cowardly anon comments completely and make you pussies who hurl personal insults my way attach a fucking email address to your useless words.
you need to take lessons from el machino who insults me with humor & intelligence, and therefore, is welcomed.
Just wait until you wake up one morning having "entertained" the mystery Valtrex sponsor.
gosh darn, you're fast. ok, i'm bored now.
I don't see what the big deal is about this promotion.
You get on a subway. Then find someone with a bad cough and seven foot long horn (or is that a wacky pipe of some kind) give them a Jolly Rancher and collect your money.
Right?
No problem. I should be in marketing.
ricola should just put those 7-foot bongs up for sale instead. they'd sell a shitload of those things.
Glad to see the new year has brought a new Copyranter too, determined to get over his teenage bitterness and adolescent scepticism. Most moving.
Dealer! My friend from the UK "empire." Why don't you eat the dick of a dead man?
Seriously readers, take a look at Dealer. He's quite funny. WARNING: He's also very NC-17.
ha, you have to write letters for marketing people? I can imagine what it's like having to keep a consistent voice with that assignment.
Oh, and the only city people who don't like to be looked at are people from New Jersey pretending they're all hard and so-cool, having come from Ridgewood, Montclair, or Princeton with the outershell of a panda. What makes the city better than Jerz is that people *actually are* friendly in the city.
Can't deal with female lawyers? How do you feel about female proofreaders? I believe you meant "look-see" up there. Dipshit.
I saw a couple having sex in public and I gave them a condom in case it happened to be the new durex promotion.
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