Friday, January 13, 2006

New Jersey. Streams of Whiskey and Lakes of Stew.


New Jersey has itself a new slogan: Come See For Yourself. Ducky. But the problem isn’t a slogan. The problem is the State name: New JERSEY. the word “Jersey” has become irrevocably synonymous with crappy, smelly, SUBPAR. Just say it: JURZEE. Yuk. It is a bad bad word.
Which is why Governor Richard Codey should just unilaterally change the State’s name to one of the following:
New J
New Blood (how cool would that be?)
New Love
New Wave
New Improved
—SpringState
—Soprano
Angelina Jolie
Max Power (what Homer once changed his name to)

13 Comments:

Anonymous Steve Cody said...

Regardless of the unintended double meaning, NJ's new motto got me to thinking about other taglines from hell. Who can forget:
"We want you to live" (Mobil Oil)
"Why fool around with anyone else?" (FedEx)
"Eat Jimmy Dean" (Jimmy Dean Sausage)
Double entendres serve as great taglines when they're clever and communicate a double positive. Sadly, though, NJ's new moniker only reinforces an already horrific reputation and leaves the state open to further ridicule. Sad as it may be, New Jersey's reputation as a dump is well earned and until they begin to clean things up, the most clever words in the world won't make any difference.

12:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the double entendre is way too subtle. It should be:

NEW JERSEY
Cum. See for yourself.

3:09 PM  
Blogger BaCaNTi said...

I'm still a fan of that SNL: Weekend Update sound bite they keep playing on z100....

New Jersey and You.
Who farted?

4:21 PM  
Blogger Nwagner25 said...

I like "New Jersey: Come for a weekend, leave with a lump in your breast"

4:38 PM  
Blogger youaresobad said...

The reason I love New Jersey is because everyone hates it. Plus, Manhattan is basically the new Orlando.

5:05 PM  
Blogger zincink said...

Come see the car crusher junkyard, or how about the sex motels, maybe you could tour our famous DMV, nothing like the smell of the medical waste incinerator when the wind blows in during the summer. I know you want to swim in our water..ooo look! medical waste! ok i'll stop..i live here. i'll give my state a big hug now..

5:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"New Jersey: The State of Inconvenience" says it all for me.

10:10 AM  
Anonymous Psydeshow said...

I really dig how that NJ graphic looks like a crumpled two-liter bottle.

10:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

jerz

12:00 PM  
Blogger concha said...

um, it looks more like a used condom that's been thrown on the street. which is probably a pretty accurate mascot for them...

9:05 PM  
Anonymous BIRD said...

i'm from New jersey

11:38 AM  
Anonymous Nikko said...

Sure, it's fun to make fun of New Jersey, but the whole state is not the Turnpike at Ikea in Elizabeth kids. Stop being brats and actually explore areas beyond Brooklyn and the Hamptons.

5:05 PM  
Blogger Make the logo bigger said...

“It’s everything you thought – and less.”

4:09 PM  

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