Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Jane's readership now includes the lucrative 7-9 year-old female demographic group.

Let's summarize: Jane reads Kafka. Memorized Zoolander. Whitens her teeth. Tells filthy jokes. Practices yoga. Perfected her keg stand. And now we learn she writes Gramps every week, and can burp the fucking alphabet. I'm seriously not that impressed. If she could burp Zoolander and tell filthy Kafka jokes, then I'd be all over that freaky bitch.

1. Jane calls the pose "Downward Facing Slutdog"
2. "Jane, you ignorant slut!" (apologies to Jane Curtin)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I remember a girl in college with verbal burping skills. She only did it when she was drunk, and then she'd give blow jobs in the parking lot.

Such a slut.

9:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

she writes the alphabet every week, she burps her grandfather...

10:42 AM  
Blogger copyranter said...

EXCELLENT, anon #2.

10:53 AM  
Blogger Matt Brand said...

grandfather? burping? for some reason this ad smells really bad.

11:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thanks for noticing. I try. thanks for reading. anon #2

4:01 PM  
Blogger watchwhathappens said...

Jane is an unbelievably weak magazine. I got a subscription thinking otherwise, but it's now lapsing. I guess I'm just out of the demographic, or I don't need hangover remedies along with my fashion layouts.

4:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Potential Jane article: "Your carpaccio-sized pussy lips: Is he grossed-out?"

4:45 PM  

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