Friday, September 15, 2006

Jane calls the pose "Downward Facing Slutdog"

Last time we visited with the Kafka-reading Jane, the stats said she wasn't really reading her namesake magazine much anymore. She's got no time! What with all the teeth-whitening, memorizing Zoolander, yoga classes, perfecting her bikini keg stand, and the subsequent bitchin' hangovers. Seriously, look into those eyes. J-Love's a Zombie these days.

16 Comments:

Anonymous Chris said...

Is that a current ad? Looks like some crappy airline ad from the back of People magazine circa 1976.

11:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have ZERO understanding of the whole woman's magazine genre, so forgive me asking this obvious question.

Is Jane aiming to be an FHM "lassie" mag? The cover's font looks pretty familiar. If they are, why put women on the cover? Ever see a guy on the cover of FHM?

11:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

She's taken sushi classes.
She knows how not to smell like day-old sushi.

11:09 AM  
Anonymous greencan said...

She looks like she's been chewing on an ink pen. Get the girl some lip balm.

12:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Meet Jane.
Meet Dick.
See Jane Meet Dick.
oh, forget it...

1:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

She knows Excel macros.
She can do the humpty-dump.

1:25 PM  
Blogger New York Punk said...

six anon postings. you have a good readership CR.

4:22 PM  
Blogger archeress said...

and for once, we're missing the "i'd fuck her/him" anon. this comment page isn't complete yet.

8:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

archeress: Should I stop? Don't want to be a complete annoyance to my fellow readers.

10:49 AM  
Blogger Corey said...

SHE needs to lay off the eye liner.
SHE could almost be a HE.

Meet Pat.

12:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I admit that I read the mag when I got a free subscription but under Holly- it really has gone to shit. The company got rid of Jane P. for understanding who her readers were and not caving in to celebs that became celebs because their best acting performance was in a sex tape or they're truely "desperate" as their show implies. Or they are getting sudden fame because they've become anorexic or imaging themselves after a blonde diva who makes the f*cking weirdest facial expressions when they sing. Yes, I mean the whole Paris-Eva-Nicole- Ashley thing! Give me a real mag for young women who live a little bit of sass! Any one know of any. I find myself getting more into British mags. Until I then, I think I'll stick to my Nylon, Zink, The Fader, Flaunt and Blackbook.

2:05 PM  
Blogger Make the logo bigger said...

She spent too much time at the beach.

She reads Jane in the waiting room of Sloan-Kettering.

8:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon, I think that Jane is striving to reinvent itself as kind of mag in the vein of Details (which features aspirational men on its covers). Furthermore, women (supposedly) won't buy mag's with dude's on the cover. Men like to look at women and it turns out women like to look at women too (even straight ones). I guess I buck convention, however, because I, a chick, totally bought the August issue of Details solely because Wentworth Miller was on the cover. Meow.

11:29 PM  
Blogger Slinky Redfoot said...

is that Lindsey Lohan?

9:24 AM  
Blogger Corey said...

$10 says she has a dick.

8:59 PM  
Blogger ninaberries said...

can't they just pull the plug on jane and let us fondly remember her as sassy's big sister instead of seeing her become the old broad at the bar?

ps - details and gq are for gay men. and esquire's 60-40.

2:37 AM  

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