out again with Balvenie Weenie™.
Time for commenter participation again! What would the bartender's riposte be to the Balvenie Weenie's yet-again clever conversation starter? Here's a couple quickies:—Shut the fuck up, you anal fissure.
—How about a Triple? Some rot gut, a kick in the balls, and a punch in your mouthless face?
—We don't serve whiners.
OK, those suck. You can do better (I'm looking at you, anon "I'd fuck him" commenter.). Check the previous BW posts below to get the idiotic flavor.
previously:
1. The Balvenie Weenie Motto.
2. Balvenie Weenie, Cinco de Mayo edition.
3. The Balvenie Weenie.
posted by copyranter @ 2:35 PM
22 Comments:
Bartender:
"No you can order a double, but it's $300, you have to find a buddy, and I won't let them show my face on film... Now fuck off."
A silent glare, followed by the sound of an overpriced bottle of whiskey breaking over a human skull.
"Are you talking to me?"
Nods. Non-existent mouth gives nothing away.
"Suck my ass."
*Thwock*
"You want a double? One of you douchebags is plenty."
You can order a double. A double dose of 'shut the fuck up.' Now take your ass back to the prom supply store where you stole that tuxedo before I cut you."
In the the Gold Room:
"Here's to five miserable months on the wagon and all the irreparable harm that it's caused me."
I'd fuck him. Mounted like the pony on his shirt's Polo crest. One dee-li-cious chukka after another!
Where's my helmet, kneepads and whip?
Oh, and let him have that double... he's going to need it.
Bartender:
"Yes."
Order whatever you want.
But please, never talk to me again.
One bourbon, one scotch and one razor blade.
Looke here, chode. This is your house and you hired me to be here. So fucking order whatever the fuck you want.
Or:
"Fucking order whatever the fuck, you fuck."
I think that works better.
Bartender: "How many times do you have to be called fuckface before you get rid of your mouth altogether?"
Bartender: I don't get it.
Bartender:
"This is not a singles bar. It's a hotel bar, you git."
Christ, what an asshole.
"Talking out of your ass again, I see."
"Out dumb ass - just get out"
You must live with your mother.
Your 12-year-old brother called: he wants his wit back.
Bartender: Haw, haw, haw. That's the funniest shit I've ever heard. LOL
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