Balvenie Weenie, Cinco de Mayo edition.
Last time I visited with the Balvenie Weenie, we explored some deathbed pickup lines the mouth-less douche bag might employ. Today (click image), let's give him some better Cinco de Mayo lines:
• "I don't drink Margaritas because they make my sperm taste like shit."
• "This one scotch costs more than most day laborers make in a week! Yuckity yuck yuck...
• "Can I fuck you?"
If you want, please put your words in his nonexistent mouth in the comments.
posted by copyranter @ 9:50 AM
18 Comments:
the guy on the poster doesn't even have a mouth
Plus, I really enjoy saying "fish taco."
"Mmmph mmm muh mu mm-mm, mrph muuhh mm muh muh."
(You try talking with no mouth)
"Hey Puta-
Nothing says Cinco de Mayo quite like a Dirty Sanchez. Por favor, senorita, bend over, let's get it done. Oye Pachegamos!"
Do you even know what a plethora is?
"And we will prune the hedges.. of many small villages.. and Rape the horses.. and Ride off on the women!"
i've come from lake titicaca to raie a glass
plus, i really like enjoy saying: chili con carne
"I have never had sex with a woman before. If I buy you enough of these, do you think you might be drunk enough to cinco my mayo?"
I have no tongue but I can sniff a pretty good anus. Happy Mexico day.
I am absolutely using the "Mexcellent" line tonight.
A good-natured romp through the bungalows of Thailand, a soothing steam shower in the natural swamps of Madagascar, or a relaxing Punch cigar on top of the snowy white mountains of Peru; these are the retreats every leisurely gentlemen aspires to enjoy. But how does one determine leisure from work? One man may consider tending his sweet garden of rosemary and arugula a "day off" if you will, but another man might find this task to be the most taxing of them all. Shall we have sex?
hey The Man Himself:
you're kinda standing like the Balvenie fella
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"I would love it if you would take that plant behind you and stick it in your bum. That, I would love."
For Cinco de Mayo, I gave my maid a ticket home to Mexico. She just cried and cried during the entire ride to JFK - couldn't understand a damn word she said. Touching. Very touching.
Like to go to my place and tidy up a bit?
Perhaps we should go for dinner...girls never expect a roufie in food.
Cinco de Fucko
(Talk balloon comment) So, my friend says, "By the way, what day does Cinco de Mayo fall on this year?"
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