Duck-Voiced Men Have Needs, Too.

Since he was recently voted the unsexiest man in the world, I thought Gilbert Gottfried would make the perfect pitchman for the popular Fleshlight male sex toy. We brought him in to do spec radio for the product. Here’s the script, as recorded, for the first :30 spot:
(sfx: squeaking, muffled repetitive pounding)
Gottfried (breathing heavily, talking in a “jerking” manner): Hell-lo Gil-bert Gottttfried here, world’s un-un-un-sexist mmmman, exxx-tollllling the vir-vir-virtues of the Flessh-light sex toyeee…I’ve been tolllld it feels j-j-just like the real thinggg. I don’t know a-a-about that b-b-but it does feel s-s-s-o GOD damn fuck-ing goooood. Oh. Oh. Oh! AF-FLAC!!!
sexy female V/O: The Fleshlight. 30 seconds to heaven.
Still waiting to hear back from parent company Interactive Life Forms, Inc.