The Wrinkle-Free Van Heusen Man.
Yes, I wear wrinkle-free Van Heusen shirts and ONLY wrinkle-free Van Heusen shirts. Blue. Blue. Blue. Blue. And Blue (M-F). You want to know what else is wrinkle-free about me? My pants. My forehead. My evenings. My diet. my golf game. My conversations. My sex life. My scrotum.
(at least he ain't got an eye-patch)