Monday, October 10, 2005

CE-O what a mistake


The good ole male CEO ego (Kozlowski, you’ll be bunking with Lay). With scores of Yes Men telling them they have great voices and great faces, they sometimes embarrassingly end up in their own TV commercials. Brand Image-wise, this is almost always a flatout idiotic move.

EXHIBIT A: eHarmony’s Neil Clark Warren. Already laughed at here. I’d just like to add that hearing his voice immediately sets off the urge in me to fuck a church organist and dump her. That can’t be a good thing, right?

EXHIBIT B: Disarmingly smarmy Men’s Wearhouse CEO George Zimmer uses a scripted, fatiguing sense of humor to sell suits to mooks who couldn’t dress a paper cut. Just another Boring Ass in love with his own voice.

EXHIBIT C: Lee Iacocca (former CEO) for Chrysler. Yeah, smart move. Way to reel in that desirable 70–death driving demo.

Ahh, but then there was Greek immigrant, New Yorker, and Absolute Fucking Total Genius Tommy Carvel. Over the years, he smartly solicited grade school children, as opposed to ad agencies, to work on his TV spots. And hearing him say “Thinny-Thin” or “Cookie Puss” in that wonderfully semi-incoherent rasp transfixed a nation. Carvel built an empire from nothing. He passed away in his sleep in 1990, and took with him a legacy as the first and last great company spokesperson.

8 Comments:

Blogger Jeff said...

I agree completely! Digging up that skeleton Iacocca just reeks of desperation. And don't get me started on the pairing with Snoop Dog...

5:04 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

I have not heard that radio spot VV, but I appreciate a person who would here that and think that. Theatre Of The Mind...

7:55 PM  
Blogger NYC Sassy Gal said...

Tommy Carvel. I miss those spots.

Not that I like Wendy's, nor their recent stuff, but ya gotta respect Dave Thomas' strange, awkward stylings as a second generation Carvel.

Pales in comparison, but he was a better spokesman than that Where's the Beef lady. Which I now just find disturbing.

12:23 AM  
Blogger Cicatrix said...

Don't forget the vacuum cleaner guy (see? don't even remember the brand). "I just think things should work propahly." Hey Mister: Showing yourself working along at your drafting table in a darkened room to create the Best Vacuum Cleaner Ever does not make you look smart, only insane.

11:16 PM  
Blogger Veronica said...

Is it just me, or does anyone else want to put a hit out on Jim Perdue?

10:29 AM  
Blogger copyranter said...

Yeah, Jim sure ain't his father. Frank wasn't great as a SpokesDoofus either, but at least he looked like a chicken.

6:55 PM  
Anonymous Darrel said...

No list of CEO spokesmen can be complete without mentioning Dick Enrico:

http://www.2ndwindexercise.com/our-CEO.html

11:08 AM  
Anonymous Jumper Bailey said...

Dave Thomas actually worked, but he's about the only one. He had a good back story and came across as a regular guy who made good selling hamburgers. The awkwardness and "aw shucks" schtick was actually pretty good. (Although I suspect there was a good bit less "aw shucks" about the man back at the corporate offices.)

As for the worst...I nominate Victor Kiam.

11:52 PM  

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