Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Donnie Deutsch Mark!

(NOTE: Apparently Donnie Douche now has a regular column in shitty Gotham Magazine called—wait for the ad-guy cleverness—Deutsch Mark [Brilliant! Here’s a sack of Euros.]. Therefore, I will now have a regular post counting how many words in his piece are about him, as opposed to his subject.)

In the March issue of Gotham, Douche interviews Billy Joel. The first 2 words of the article? “For me…” Total Words from Joel: 82. Total Words Douche talks directly about himself: 194. Total Words plugging his Talk Show: 50. Times he writes “I” or “me”: 18. Times he calls Joel a "Brand": 1. Total Words in article: 435. Times I said "Douche" while reading the article: 1,038.

12 Comments:

Blogger [ tyler curtain ] said...

I hate to be a bother, but would you post the percentages as well? A Deutschemark piechart is called for, I think.

10:47 AM  
Anonymous shadow said...

someone is coming up with code for a search engine to identify keywords to make your life easier.

12:48 PM  
Blogger dancing at gunpoint said...

Donnie Deutsch probably masturbates to pictures of himself.

12:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Douche-land uber alles!!

...er, nein.


-- Salamandre

5:02 PM  
Anonymous Bob Garfield said...

Gosh, and I thought my columns in "Ad Age" were pathetic, poorly written wastes of time. But I pale in comparison to The Donny.

By the way, gang, my book, "And Now A Few Words From Me," is now available in paperback. I'm just sayin' is all.

5:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Regarding Donnie Deutsch:

Aren't agency heads, (who do a lot of tv and magazines and stuff,) supposed to be SOMEWHAT entertaining?

Hmmm.

LBinDaCity

5:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not only does Deutsch masterbate to his own image,
he probably eats the peanuts out of his own shit.

5:57 PM  
Blogger Frank said...

"Douch-land uber alles!" *hehehehehehe* I liked that, Salamandre.

Anyway, Donnie Deutsch is very annoying, but, on a purely superficial level, he's also very hot. So whenever I see him on TV, I just block out what he's saying and look at his pecs or biceps (since he always wears a tight shirt to show them off).

9:44 PM  
Blogger Make the logo bigger said...

"...on a purely superficial level, he's also very hot. So whenever I see him on TV, I just block out what he's saying and look at his pecs or biceps."

I do that with the Charles Schwab ski-lift chick.

12:17 AM  
Blogger copyranter said...

"Bob", not to worry. You still suck plenty.

10:48 AM  
Anonymous Bob Garfield said...

Thanks for the validation, Copyranter. Nice to know that after all these years, I still blow more than Paris Hilton at a drunken orgy. (Ah, there's that trademark wit of mine!)

11:30 AM  
Blogger Cre8 said...

Donny'isms are better than a bad brief, and about as easy to produce. And he's bound and determined to keep it that way!

10:57 PM  

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