Wednesday, July 05, 2006

T-Mobile pays CZJ $4 million per word.

Pictured taking a piss while pretending to chat on one of the many free cell phones she's received in the last year, Catherine Zero Jones is making a fucking filthy fortune as celebrity "spokesmodel" for T-Mobile. Meanwhile, she does literally next to nothing in the commercials—on average she says 5 words and takes 3 steps per spot (yes, I've counted). That's not very chatty nor very mobile. Plus, maybe it's just her natural lack of charisma, but it appears to me that she really doesn't give a shit about the product. Which, of course, she doesn't. Bravo, CZJ. You've pulled off about the biggest con job in recent ad history. T-Mobile? Get More? You idiots couldn't be getting any less for your 20 mil.

16 Comments:

Blogger Tim Bond said...

It was kinda strange to me when T-Mobile replaced the VoiceStream spokesmodel (spokesactress?) before the merger/namechange, Jamie Lee Curtis. Curtis would actually talk up the VStream products on talk show appearances to promote her own books or movies. Once, she even said something to the effect of, "I actually use and like this service." (I still miss the little guy from the PowerTel ads, myself.)

12:03 PM  
Blogger Make the logo bigger said...

With the salesguy and the cheerleader, who needs her at the end.

12:14 PM  
Anonymous word pimp said...

No suprises here. Besides, she married Michael Douglas, world-class "actor" asshole. (He's an asshole in real life too.) Both are more proof that mediocritiy is endlessly rewarded and is the hallmark of American celebrity.

12:29 PM  
Blogger David said...

Tim Bond -

Don't forget that Jamie Lee Curtis was born with full manhood, intact.

12:56 PM  
Blogger ninaberries said...

sorry, ad people, but i'm going to argue that t-mobile rethink its corporate strategy and shift some of those ill-advised ad dollars into product development. you ever talk to anyone on t-mobile? their service sucks as much as their ads do.

1:20 PM  
Anonymous Dudeguy said...

In the T-mobile commericals it looks like CZJ isn't even in the same room as the other actors. Must be a contractual thing, "no peasants".


David, do you think a Johnson would make Jones a better spokesmodel?

1:53 PM  
Anonymous LisaBinDaCity said...

Didn't she used to do and say more in the old commercials?

Also, I THINK I was told she is hugely popular all over Europe, (where I was also told the bulk of T-Mobile's clients are located.) Thus having her attached to their product in ANY way is very good business.

I am sure I will be corrected if I am wrong ;-)

1:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well...since you are paid a "ridiculous amount of money to be stupid"...maybe you should not be talking about CZJ.

People who live in glass houses...

2:20 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

anon: but I fully understand that I ain't worth it.

2:54 PM  
Anonymous Welch's Grape said...

It looks the Agency hates her guts and the T-Mobile krauts who paid her are forcing them to have her in the spots. Their solution is to make whatever they like and put her at the end to read some stupid tagline. It's not rare companies pay celebrities a stupid amount of money and then ask the agency to deal with it.

6:25 PM  
Blogger J.J. Gittes said...

I get the same vibe as lisabindacity (can I call you lisa? no? okay), this is all kinda like the Japanese ad style in which a "star" is juxtaposed with a product, and let nothing rational get in the way.

And CZJ is very, very hot, btw...

7:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd still fuck her.

10:31 PM  
Anonymous Von K said...

I like the Realtor™ spot. She reminds me of the insane people 'round these parts.

CZJ is hot and all, but no deal unless I can get her AND the cheerleader. Awriiight...

10:37 AM  
Blogger Scamp said...

she has a face like a dustbin lid

12:42 PM  
Anonymous bizzee bone said...

i don't know why i find her so goddamned attractive (i've spent full minutes trying to figure this out; darfurians should have such luxury), but she is goddamned attractive. and i am a happy and loyal t-mobile customer.

3:02 PM  
Anonymous bizzee bone said...

oh and i like the cheerleader too. she's a STAR. i wish i could watch her, oh i don't know, terrorize her parents in some sort of long-form entertainment vehicle.

3:06 PM  

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