SEND ME TIPS: copyranter(at)gmail(dot)com
The Best Fucking Ad Blogger in the World™——now writing for BuzzFeed.com. I have been an NYC advertising copywriter for 19 years. I hate capri pants. Also: advertising, PR, midtown, the Upper East Side, the Upper West Side, going to Brooklyn, NYC realtors, New York City, fake blondes, real blondes, saline implants, silicone implants, Civil War enthusiasts, Republicans, Democrats, Liberals, Conservatives, fireworks, parades, Summer, Winter, greeting cards, stuffed animals, children's drawings, religions, personal trainers, golf, golf courses, golfers, polo shirts, turtlenecks, scarves, The Yankees, Yankee fans, mooks, Streeters, iBankers, the Hamptons, Hoboken, Chicago, Texas, Florida, people who don't know how to walk in NYC, whistling, Moby, TV, Radio, Magazines, Newspapers, stand-up comedy, Improv comedy, sketch comedy, "alt" comedy, Readings, poetry slams, SUVs, PCs, drinking straws, weddings, Brunch, fondue fountains, chick peas, Starbucks coffee, journalists, screenwriters (dicks), short men (Napoleon Complexed turds), Scrabble®, people who don't hate anything. I probably at least don't care for you.
This is the pair of squeezable Stress Boobs that my smart- and cute-as-heck art director—and fellow Leo—Keri got me for my birthday. The raised bumps really make 'em special.
posted by copyranter @ 2:00 PM
17 Comments:
Sexual harassment lawsuit!
You'll get a nice check AND they can't fire you for years, no matter how bad you fuck up!
where can I buy them?
Awesome! Is today your birthday? Me, too!!
Why don't they make hairy STRESS TESTICLES for women to squeeze? Really hard? With little harder nuggets within the ballsack that you can feel squish around as you tighten your fist around it??
I would proudly display them on my desk.
So Patrick Bateman!
Stressticles!
happy b'day. started drinking yet?
I was going to write something witty and cutting but fuck it. BOOBIES.
Ahem. Happy birthday
Have you tried to titty-fuck them yet?
I'm far from an expert on boobs, but the "raised bumps" look way too concentrically regular. Aren't the bummps on real boobs more irregular?
"Stressticles" would HAVE to be scented. "Mmmmmmmm, 'musty'..."
P.S. Happy Birthday!
Hope it's not too late to say Happy Birthday!
These may help reduce the stress that the rest of the woman causes...
p.s. happy birthday from me too
i have some of those, but they're attached to my chest. it costs people a little more to squeeze 'em, but i think it's worth it.
Dang Bowling, you've got some issues.
these are old. see how worn in they are? the bumps are almost flat nd the one on the left looks a bit deflated. what new things can we get you this year to help reduce your stress, copy? only three more days to shop...
the beautiful archeress is right...these are from last year's b-day, so they've been fondled. A bit. I've just always wanted to post a pic of them, and waited til it was close to this year's b-day.
Post a Comment
<< Home