Thursday, October 12, 2006

And on the 7th date, I finally bent Jane over my Italian leather sofa.

I had, like, HAD it with Jane's Sybilian chit-chat. There we were last night, dining at Nobu on the ad agency's dime (hey, it was research). She's talking to the model at the next table in Russian, ignoring her Monkfish Pate, when it hits me: dichotomous does not, like, equal interesting. After dinner, I edged her back to my place, with the promise that I owned Zoolander, and to meet my cat Kafka (real name Zippy the Pinhead). I poured some old port and pretended to look for the DVD. She was perusing my bookcase and noticed my copy of The Brothers Karamasov (which I had meticulously mangled to make it look used). Cut to sofa.
previous Jane posts:
1. Six dates later...
2. Jane's addictions...
3. I am Woman, Hear me Blubber.
4. Jane's readership...
5. Downward Facing Slutdog
6. "Jane, you ignorant slut!"

9 Comments:

Blogger Slinky Redfoot said...

Did you tell her to look for change in the sofa? "There must be 3 bucks in quarters and dimes in there, Jane. Go for it!"

11:17 AM  
Blogger Make the logo bigger said...

We gotta hook Jane up with the Balvenie guy.

12:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

and then, she farted you out the window...

1:24 PM  
Anonymous ricpic said...

Dichotomous dischmatamous, this Jane gives good head!

7:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If she was really dichotomous, you would have found a surprise when you bent "her" over

Okay, zippy?

9:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

She wears too much lip liner. She reads The Economist. Who gives a crap? Those ads just reinforce that Jane has no idea who is reading their pointless rag.

5:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The drop in ad pages is because they've finally lost all the readers who were clinging to Jane hoping it'd turn back into Sassy.

Also, the "she/she" parodies that have been left as comments to all the Jane posts pretty much prove that everyone who reads this blog is a better copywriter than whomever wrote those ads, no?

2:43 PM  
Blogger ninaberries said...

moda, she totally wears too much lip liner. gross!

2:58 PM  
Anonymous ambika said...

So apt. And funny. And ninaberries is right. The girl pictured looks like Eminem's (ex) wife.

2:05 PM  

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