Thursday, February 28, 2008

Ed Hardy eau de toilette copy malodorous.

(click to see adjectives and nouns mauling the shit out of each other)
"The final effect is of masculine floralcy(?) tattooed onto wood..."
Thus ends this positively dizzying passage of copy found on Macy's Website for the new, much-hyped "vintage tattoo-inspired" fragrance. YOU read it and try to figure out what the hell it smells like, then get back to me. previously in fragrances: a base of Vagina and Derek Jeter with top notes of the Pope. (thanks PJ for the tip)

14 Comments:

Anonymous Daddy-O said...

After reading it, I don't have a fucking clue what it smells like, but I do have a massive erection. Does that mean it works?

8:59 AM  
Blogger swizzard said...

Rotting mint?

10:47 AM  
Blogger PD said...

That's just about the worst thing ever. How did anyone sign off on that much repetition? Overwhelmed by the sheer 'masculine'-idiocy of the piece, I guess.

11:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this belongs on engrish.com

11:58 AM  
Blogger A-Dub said...

A fragrance inspired by tattoo art? What does a tattoo smell like...ink?

12:32 PM  
Blogger spencer said...

"Dizzying" is exactly right. Reading that actually made me seasick.

1:43 PM  
Blogger Iagos said...

Yeah as anonymous said this was like something off of engrish.com.
I don't know what it smells like but I am woozy thinking about it.

2:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It looks like somethig you'd find in the bargain bin at the dollar store.

3:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd pay $75.00 for masculine woodiness that lasts and lasts...

9:00 PM  
Blogger Blaize said...

What the...?

10:52 PM  
Blogger LegalGeek said...

"This opening is the perfect preview to a colorful Mint Julep cocktail that matches up with Ozone for a psychedellic explosion of color and effervescence," ... but only if you've started drinking, rather than wearing it.

11:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If it was truly "tattoo inspired" it would smell like, latex(gloves), rubbing alcohol, surgical soap, electrostatic, marlboro reds and vaseline.

1:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just went to Macy's and checked it out. I also was curious to what it smells like. Nothing like a biker.....

7:42 PM  
Anonymous cath said...

As I read it, I thought I would comment on the ludicrousness of the claim that it smells like bubbles.

Then I thought maybe I would sigh over the pointless and random capitalization.

But then I got to the, erm, "word" "floralcy," and I blaareghin wemneel dmengoenstntnneens..... help.

10:25 AM  

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