Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Yankee Clubhouse Soon To Smell Like Whorehouse.


It smells like—Victory. Avon announced yesterday that New York Yankees' captain Derek Jeter will release his very own men's fragrance this Fall called Driven. Forty-five minutes later, principal owner George Steinbrenner announced that the cologne will become the official "smell" of the Bronx Bombers.
"Since it smells so good, I think (my teammates) will be inclined to ask me for some," said Jeter in the WWD article.
"ALL the players will be required to wear it—Alex (Rodriguez) will be bathing it," boomed Steinbrenner. "It will become part of the Yankee dress code. No long hair, no facial hair, and Driven every gameday. After our team leaves a locker room, I want the next team coming through to know who was there before them.
"I want the concessioners, broadcasters, Bob Sheppard, the field crew, the Bleacher Creatures—anybody connected to the Yankees to be drenched in this stuff."

previously:
1. "the rankest compound(s) of villainous smell that ever offended nostril."—Shakespeare
2. Is IT In YOU?

12 Comments:

Blogger pinknest said...

ugh, why do women think derek jeter is so hot? blah.

11:44 AM  
Blogger J.J. Gittes said...

Fuck spraying the stuff on. John Sterling already has an IV hooked up.

11:59 AM  
Blogger Make the logo bigger said...

And in keeping with stadium pricing guidelines, it'll probably cost $150 for 2.5 ounces 'cause of the alcohol content.

1:57 PM  
Blogger concha said...

and the pic is totally interchangable with that lance bass people magazine cover.

3:13 PM  
Anonymous shadow said...

i'll giev them something to drench themselves in.

3:31 PM  
Blogger dancing at gunpoint said...

I bet it smells like stale thong.

6:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jeter is such a shill. $18 million per year and he still apes for this Avon crap?

I bet he shops at Daffy Dan's, eats at Olive Garden and wears the "high end" Swiss Army watch.

The credibility factor of this ad is ZERO!!!

6:14 PM  
Blogger ninaberries said...

so in addition to wearing tights, the yankees now wear perfume? baseball's gay.

9:26 PM  
Blogger Scamp said...

This is why I like the Mets

11:20 AM  
Anonymous Gee said...

(Dancing at Gunpoint) you should wash your draws more often , don't blame your stale Thongs on his cologne..

2:11 PM  
Anonymous Gee said...

(SCAMP) And I guess that's why Mike Piazza from the Mets.... was really masculine bouncing around in those (Pert) commercials with his pretty long hair... what a pretty little girl.......

shut up !!!!!!!!

2:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Scamp & Gee,

Guys, quit fighting. The Yankees and Mets are equally gay. So is every other sports team. Because sports is homoerotic. Think about it.

6:16 PM  

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