ABSOLUT DICK.

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To recap: In an Absolut world: lemons are clitorides (clitori?); everyone has a red carpet driveway; men get pregnant; God stops global warming with giant ice cubes; and I am Andy Warhol.
And...all men have eight-inch penises. But in an Absolut world, wouldn't all men (and women) be shitfaced on Absolut vodka all the time? Which means that most men would have perpetual whiskey dick, well-hung or not. Which means in an Absolut World, we'd all be singing Viva Fucking Viagra until our throats were as raw as our meat sticks.
(scanned from In Los Angeles Magazine)