(sorta nsfw) He's a cockeyed optimist.

(click ad) The mind floods with juvenile responses to this silly metaphor ad for Vancouver retoucher The Orange Apple by DDB Canada. Instead of sparing you, here are some of them: He fucked me with his eyes ... SOMF ... That's using your head ... No, I wasn't watching porn, why do you ask? ... Don't get any in your eyes? ... etc (image via). Previous penises in ads: Sony PS3 penis thumb. Absolut 8 inches. And Bill Gates as a disembodied penis in a Belgium condom ad.