Wednesday, November 30, 2005

CLEARLY defining your target audience.

Page through the back of any Sunday New York Times Magazine and you are assaulted by crappy yet snooty Real Estate ads for addresses you’ll never ever set foot in. But, never have I seen an ad that so overtly attempts to piss everyone the fuck off.
So, here’s the 2nd ad, yet to run, in the sly One Carnegie Hill campaign:
Dad’s fighting 3 malpractice suits at Mt. Sinai.
Mom commits fraud at Sotheby’s.
Tyler is dealing at Dalton.
Baby sis is fucking Noah Tepperberg.


Blogger T.A.N. said...

don't forget:

The Nanny "Loquesha" is kidnapping your overpampered seed and holding it for a cash reward.

How much?

first and last month's rent at One Carnegie Hill. Plus deposit.

12:13 PM  
Blogger David said...

That's not the first nor the last "deposit" Loquesha has received from Dr. Dad either.

12:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

and they all love Dorrian's...

12:46 PM  
Blogger badly drawn boykins said...

When dad says he's at Mt. Sinai, he's actually with his other family on the other side of the Park.

1:50 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

isn't 'one carnegie hall' a shitty teen drama on the WB?

1:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I went to high school with Noah. Funny - I guess some things don't really change...

1:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Isn't Noah Tepperberg gay? I know he lives with another guy, but I guess they could just be friends:)

2:00 PM  
Blogger copyranter said...

OK. make it Jason Strauss then.

2:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I particularly love the unnecessary caps on "Address" and "Lifestyle", suggesting both are so important for this imaginary couple that they need to be proper nouns.

While we're sharing ads that are so phenomenally, impossibly elitist that they cross the line from annoyance to comedy, check out the latest round of ads from Macallan scotch for their Sherry Oak booze (conveniently posted on their website here ). My favorites are "Heir" and "Expenses", both of which are so cold and exclusive that I can't believe the product manager approved the copy. The NYTimes Magazine ran one of these last Sunday for all of us non-billionaires to gaze at longingly... wishing we were wealthy enough to qualify for a glass of scotch so pretentious that they actually capitalize the "The" before their brand name. Amazing.

2:49 PM  
Blogger dancing at gunpoint said...

I hate rich people. Trite, I know.

5:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I tried to go that Macallan site. Sorry, that "The" Macallan site, but when I said I was in Iraq, it said, "In order to comply with local laws and regulations relating to advertising, promotion and marketing of alcohol, you are restricted from accessing this site." I thought we fought a war to make those people free to buy aspirational mass produced "luxury" goods?

11:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know about NYC, but in California, "Lifestyle" most definitley means "gay", especially when capitalized.

11:34 PM  
Blogger LisaBinDaCity said...

Dad is bonking his Russian mistress and being extorted by the Russian mob.

Mom has had one too many plastic surgeries and can no longer move her face.

Tyler is dating Paris Hilton.

Baby sis is in love with the building porter who looks like Antonio Banderas.

3:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

copyranter, you're my hero. please don't ever go away.

10:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Copyranter, I don't know how to email you, so you're getting a comment here instead. Delete at will, but I couldn't help thinking of you when I came across this link: The Advertising Slogan Generator.

11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what's the deal with airline food?

12:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

move to hawaii

2:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As I read your profile, it occurs to me that you hate the things you've listed as much as the people who live or will live at One Carnagie Hill hate people who can't afford to live there. Which is ironic, because you all have a lot of hate in common. Since you're an overpaid copywriter, you should move there and be with the people like you. I bet there isn't an idiot client in the building.

9:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I were namned Noah, I'd hate my parents about as much as copyranter hates everything else.

7:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't share the prevailing sentiment here. What's wrong with the ad? It emphasizes that there is a life of luxury here in America. That isn't exactly news, is it? What this ad should convey to the reader is that lifestyle (excuse me, "Lifestyle") is available to anyone in America willing to do what it takes to achieve it.

In my mind, it's an overt ad for what America stands for. Unbridled optimism leading to the real chance that you can experience luxury represented by One Carnegie Hill.

If this ad were displayed to 90% of the rest of the world, I can see the point here. It would be an elitist snub at the "little people" since there's no way in hell any of the readers would be able to achieve anything like that.

So, instead of pooh-poohing the ad, celebrate the fact that you live in a country that allows for the average person to attain such wealth, if only they make good choices along the way.

Dan Sherman

12:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dan, you need to venture further afield and see that "the average person" in American cannot, with only "good choices along the way," attain this kind of wealth. The rich just get richer here in America, the land of opportunity, while the poor just get poorer. This ad is clearly meant for people like you, who think you're somehow entitled to the Lifestyle at One Carnegie Hall (or, more laughably, who think you've somehow "earned" this lifestyle rather than been lucky enough to be born into circumstances that afforded you the opportunities to achieve it). Not everyone is so lucky.

7:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have spent all morning looking up what I can on Noah Tepperberg and spent the last four days hearing about him from a family member of mine and all I have come up with are is a man who works hard and plays hard, with plenty of self made success. So whether you view him as an asshole or one of those born rich pricks, you must give him the respect he deserves for all that he has accomplished.

2:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tyler is as white trash a name as you'll find anywhere. Think Jordan, Dylan, Justin, etc. Pure white garbage. Like Tiffany or Brittany.

6:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The rich just get richer here in America, the land of opportunity, while the poor just get poorer.

what insightful social commentary, annonymous. clearly you are intelligent, politically and socially aware, and know way way more about everyone in america than commenter Dan Sherman does. actually, i think DS did a spot-on job of explicating the point of the ad. it seems those who believe least in the possibility of meritocracy are those least likely to benefit from one. perhaps you, annonymous, have no prospect of ever "earning" anything like a life of luxury. some of us might and do.

10:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"perhaps you, annonymous, have no prospect of ever "earning" anything like a life of luxury. some of us might and do."

Your 'comment' pretty much reflects the very point copyranter criticized.
Also, the fact that you hold 'a life of luxury' in such high regard - as something to 'earn' and strive for, does neither speak for your intelligence nor your social/political awareness.
It's funny you call the US a meritocracy though, so I award you one point for humour.
Otherwise, IKM, you, quite frankly, suck.

6:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oops, this was posted two years ago... didn't notice..

6:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the ad is discursive, you, the wonks, have twitched.

aspirational punter probably aligns but in a dark twisted way that focus wont show.

i love the haters


6:49 PM  
Blogger Curiouspencil said...

"The address of their lifestyle". Oh sweet weeping account directors in 'pretend it's a real job' clothing ironies.

WHEN will some people who purport a 26-letter career admit they're little more than a crushed sweatfuck alphabet stuttering for milk from a polybreasted client that has no fucking sense of touch or taste or self or reality enough to say "No, 'creative twat, it DOESN'T make sense, no matter how many sentences you waste air explaining it, now stop sucking my fucking brand dry"?

1:27 PM  

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