Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Free Jade Jagger Real Doll™ With Every Condo.

(click image)
Her #1 accomplishment in life has been to emerge alive from one of the many vaginas spelunked by Mick's dick. But this surely is 34-year-old Jade Jagger's 2nd finest moment: she's "designed" the interiors of all the condos at 16 W 19th St in Chelsea NYC (link. check out that trippy Ibiza-inspired muzak). A Jade Real Doll (link. NSFW!) is quite a nice amenity. Or is that really Jade splayed legs akimbo on my future bed? Perhaps she offers special turn-down service? Nice touch, the fake passport stamp.

1. You MUST be at least as tall as our towers to buy a condo.
2. The Unparalleled Hyperbole of NYC Real Estate Advertising.
3. CLEARLY defining your target audience.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

"pod living" is that what it's coming to? living in a "pod" in new york city. i'll take my stinky prewar uptown junky 'penthouse' any day, sorry. and what are those, filing cabinets in the center of the room? looks like the office at my dentist. ugh. i like the idea of a mother of teenagers being sexy and cool on the big bed, though. nothing wrong with that.

9:34 AM  
Blogger Katrina Martiani said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:23 PM  
Blogger David said...

So I tried to understand Pod living, but I can't get my head around the following:

"jewel-like lacquered boxes that seem to float in each residence. Enclosed within this single cube are your meticulously laid out kitchen and bathroom."

So.. My kitchen and bathroom seem to float.. and they're "jewel-like" and "laquered.."

I can't come up with anything sarcastic/witty because I don't understand what I would be ridiculing.

But I do like the image of MTLB with a roll of ducktape, though.

2:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I looked at the 19th street showroom last week. The pictures actually look sort of cool in the NYT, but in real life, the concept execution is incredibly cheezy. First off, I was forced to stand in a dark room watching a presentation on four walls about how Chelsea is the center of the universe and how the design of the “Jade” is the epitome of everything that Jade Jagger has experienced throughout her life. Well, that is sad. I’ve lived in Chelsea for ten years, and it’s not the center of the universe. If you are completely clueless and have to be sold on the attributes of Chelsea, please don’t move here. Actually, dumb fakey-fake-demonstrative chicks like Jade Jagger are scorned and ridiculed in Chelsea. The shower is accessible from the bathroom, but viewable in the living room through a clear glass window. WTF??? Absolutely stupid. The "pod" material (pressed wood) is cheap and the kitchen is 7/10 scale, like a motor home. The Hello Kitty color palette choices didn't appeal to me much either. Overall, the Jade is a very amateurish and juvenile design for a $1M-plus apartment.

5:46 PM  

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