Tuesday, July 11, 2006

The March of the Penguin.

(sorry for the bleed-through)
Sensitive World Citizen Starbucks here (click image) presents a "new way to refresh"—capture and abuse a penguin! Cool! Yep, go to your local zoo, grab a Penguin, visit your local deli, tie the Penguin up to a parking meter outside, go inside and grab yourself a $3 Starbucks® Brand can of iced coffee, and then take your new pet for a walk at the beach. Refreshing! The critter looks damn thirsty, huh? Look at that look of longing he/she is sporting gazing at the fake frosted glass of iced coffee. Wonder if our hero knows that Penguins are perfectly capable of drinking salt water? Who cares! Dude's like, "Quit squawking and keep walking. This is sooo going to get me laid."

Nice Media Placement, StarFuckheads.
O' Stupid Billboard, O' Stupid Billboard...


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are seriously twisted ;-)

3:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"You're with me, flightless."

Oh...sorry, wrong blog.

Um, "would you like to come back to my place and pet my penguin?"

4:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I looked down and there were two sets of footprints in the sand -- one set webbed and forty paces in front of the other set.

"Orange-shirted Jesus," I asked. "Why did you put a noose around my neck and make me walk so far in front of you?"

Orange-shirted Jesus replied, "Land mines."


"Orange-shirted Jesus, " I asked, "Why did you give me a thirst for cool, frosty coffee in the middle of summer?"

Orange-shirted Jesus gazed across the horizon and whispered, "Roooosebuuuud."

5:08 PM  
Blogger kilgore said...

Ladies do love a man with a penguin. And if it's a baby penguin, well, just go out naked because the wimmins will be throwing themselves at you right there.

5:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey buuuaby. I gotcher penguin right here ...

No really. I have one. He's in my lap using his beak to help me type this very minute. And I'm naked.

12:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

for the record, i am the executive producer on this project... and i would like to interject that the glass of ice coffee was indeed real, and not fake. thank you.

5:16 PM  

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