Friday, September 29, 2006

Advertising Week: Procession of Icons.

(This is the fourth and last post this week wherein I will be "live blogging" an Advertising Week event without actually being anywhere near the pointless goings-on.)
The results are in
: America's favorite ad icons for 2006 are KFC's Colonel Sanders and Kool-Aid Man. America's favorite slogan? (jesus christ) Don't Mess With Texas. What a country full of Fucking Morons.
Anyway, So I am currently (not) standing on venerable Madison Avenue, watching the parade of icons. There goes the Gecko—keying cars and breaking off sideview mirrors. The Burger King just power-puked all over an M&M. Hey, there's Tony The Tiger. "Tony how ya feelin'? Grrrrreat?" The finger. Nice Tony, in front of so many kids. Wow, there's militant anti-tobacco Mayor Bloomberg having Joe Camel and his phallic-symbol nose arrested.
(OK, that sucked. It's Friday, what do you want? Look out Monday [UPDATE: make that Tuesdays from now on] for my next Lies Well Disguised piece on Gawker. I'll have my own fancy logo.)

1. Advertising Week: Thursday Morning Diversity Seminar.
2. Advertising Week: Texas Hold'em Invitational.
3. Advertising Week: Fishing For The BIG Idea.


Blogger David said...

I'm sorry, but I love the Burger King guy. Watching him dive across the goal line always makes me laugh.

Or, as I guess he would be called, The King.

They need to superimpose him in more than just sports shots, however, like, maybe a "6 Seconds in Dallas" Burger King spoof, or perhaps "Osama Bin Burger King." The possibilities are endless.

2:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a bunch of punks.

2:49 PM  
Blogger Mervyn said...

SO I wonder what advertiser is going to come along and use "DON'T MESS" as their slogan..... Urgh.

3:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd LOVE to fuck the Burger King.

Use Windex to clean him up after my facial.

3:33 PM  
Blogger emily said...

Come on, Don't Mess With Texas is GENIUS!!!

We rednecks love that shit!

oh, and Hook 'em.

6:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, enough with the trans fats, Bloomie. If I wanna do myself in on chips and fries that's my business, 'kay? Betcha can't eat just one, Mister Nanny.

6:28 PM  
Blogger HighJive said...

Is it really accurate to call the character the Kool-Aid Man? What evidence is there that it is a man? It has arms and legs protruding from its pitcher torso. But there is no visible kool-aid-dripping penis to be seen. Just wondering.

7:20 PM  
Blogger New York Punk said...

Don't mess with texas...why? Because it's already messed up.

3:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I loved the "Don't Mess With Texas" slogan. It was memorable, and fyi, it was originally created for an anti-litter campaign. The commercial showed a couple of tough looking linebackers from the Dallas Cowboys snarling the line and it was very effective.

6:59 AM  
Blogger RFB said...

Evidence of Kool-Aid dude being a dude?

He had a voice in some old Saturday morning TV spots. While the kids simply said "Hey! Koolaid's here!" revealing no specific gender, Kool-Aid's response was always in a distinct male voice. I suppose it may have been a Bea Arthur voiceover though.

I'm sure he tucks his penis up in the pitcher.

4:38 PM  
Blogger ninaberries said...

i hate litter. litterbugs suck. can you ad people please do something useful for once and do an effective PSA about littering like make a stinky little litterbug and say "don't be a litterbug."

for those of you who don't live in a city full of peasants, litter is that stuff that lazy people throw everywhere.

2:44 AM  

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