Friday, September 29, 2006

Advertising Week: Procession of Icons.

(This is the fourth and last post this week wherein I will be "live blogging" an Advertising Week event without actually being anywhere near the pointless goings-on.)
The results are in
: America's favorite ad icons for 2006 are KFC's Colonel Sanders and Kool-Aid Man. America's favorite slogan? (jesus christ) Don't Mess With Texas. What a country full of Fucking Morons.
Anyway, So I am currently (not) standing on venerable Madison Avenue, watching the parade of icons. There goes the Gecko—keying cars and breaking off sideview mirrors. The Burger King just power-puked all over an M&M. Hey, there's Tony The Tiger. "Tony how ya feelin'? Grrrrreat?" The finger. Nice Tony, in front of so many kids. Wow, there's militant anti-tobacco Mayor Bloomberg having Joe Camel and his phallic-symbol nose arrested.
(OK, that sucked. It's Friday, what do you want? Look out Monday [UPDATE: make that Tuesdays from now on] for my next Lies Well Disguised piece on Gawker. I'll have my own fancy logo.)

1. Advertising Week: Thursday Morning Diversity Seminar.
2. Advertising Week: Texas Hold'em Invitational.
3. Advertising Week: Fishing For The BIG Idea.


Blogger David said...

I'm sorry, but I love the Burger King guy. Watching him dive across the goal line always makes me laugh.

Or, as I guess he would be called, The King.

They need to superimpose him in more than just sports shots, however, like, maybe a "6 Seconds in Dallas" Burger King spoof, or perhaps "Osama Bin Burger King." The possibilities are endless.

2:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a bunch of punks.

2:49 PM  
Blogger Mervyn said...

SO I wonder what advertiser is going to come along and use "DON'T MESS" as their slogan..... Urgh.

3:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd LOVE to fuck the Burger King.

Use Windex to clean him up after my facial.

3:33 PM  
Blogger emily said...

Come on, Don't Mess With Texas is GENIUS!!!

We rednecks love that shit!

oh, and Hook 'em.

6:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, enough with the trans fats, Bloomie. If I wanna do myself in on chips and fries that's my business, 'kay? Betcha can't eat just one, Mister Nanny.

6:28 PM  
Blogger HighJive said...

Is it really accurate to call the character the Kool-Aid Man? What evidence is there that it is a man? It has arms and legs protruding from its pitcher torso. But there is no visible kool-aid-dripping penis to be seen. Just wondering.

7:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I'd LOVE to fuck the Burger King."

Anon, you rock.

cr, btw, was Mr. Clean there? Fucking guy NEVER shows up at these things any more. Living off his royalties.

Whipple woulda showed.

12:23 AM  
Blogger New York Punk said...

Don't mess with texas...why? Because it's already messed up.

3:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I loved the "Don't Mess With Texas" slogan. It was memorable, and fyi, it was originally created for an anti-litter campaign. The commercial showed a couple of tough looking linebackers from the Dallas Cowboys snarling the line and it was very effective.

6:59 AM  
Blogger RFB said...

Evidence of Kool-Aid dude being a dude?

He had a voice in some old Saturday morning TV spots. While the kids simply said "Hey! Koolaid's here!" revealing no specific gender, Kool-Aid's response was always in a distinct male voice. I suppose it may have been a Bea Arthur voiceover though.

I'm sure he tucks his penis up in the pitcher.

4:38 PM  
Blogger ninaberries said...

i hate litter. litterbugs suck. can you ad people please do something useful for once and do an effective PSA about littering like make a stinky little litterbug and say "don't be a litterbug."

for those of you who don't live in a city full of peasants, litter is that stuff that lazy people throw everywhere.

2:44 AM  

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