Monday, February 26, 2007

The Village Voice Sex Ad Awards.

It’s the first ever Vexy Awards. Over the weekend, I thoroughly examined all the sex ads in the back of the Village Voice. Today, I reveal the winners.
Before we get started, you should know that, in the past, I have judged One Show, Clio, and ANDY advertising awards events. You should also know that there are two strict requirements that must be met before one can judge the preliminary rounds of these prestigious awards shows. You must: 1) work in advertising; 2) show up.
The categories judged: Female Bodywork; Male Bodywork; and SheMale Bodywork.
I only picked from the small black & white ads; obviously larger color ads are going to get more attention. I was interested in what the advertisers could do to break through the semi-naked clutter. Many ads were immediately ruled out because they used one or both of the two most pedestrian and least believable escort ad copy phrases—"actual photo" and "new in town." Also, ads that featured models with blurred faces or blacked-out eyes in a desperate and obviously deceptive attempt to make you think that the model pictured was indeed real, were disregarded. The three winners are below.
Female Bodywork. The most competitive category, with over 100 display ads. But the Gold Vexy goes to this particular "big women" agency ad. It wins for two reasons. 1) They fit five zoftig ladies into a very small ad. 2) Lady number four has been named "Fellatio." Ha! Censor didn't catch that one! Also, a Silver Vexy goes to an Asian service that used the copy line "1st Class Heaven."
Male Bodywork. Obviously, the Voice is not the first choice for most New York City gay men seeking bodywork, as there were only a handful of display ads. Nonetheless, Mido wins the Gold Vexy thanks to his smart copy line, "I'm Here For You Older Men Ages 45 And Up." Excellent targeted marketing.
SheMale Bodywork. I was thinking of enlisting the services of Gotham writer and shemale connoisseur Jonathan Ames to help me pick a winner here, but I figured he might have actually experienced the services of one or more of the escorts, and therefore then could not have provided an objective opinion. Anyway, a very competitive group. The Gold Vexy goes to Chyva. Her exotic name stood out. Also, she managed to slip in a bare ass shot amidst a sea of thongs.
Thanks for cumming. Everybody drive safety.
previously in Village Voice:
1. Join the Village Voice Street Prostitution Gang.
2. I'm sorry you all suck.


Blogger jos said...

loved the awards, cr, and all the work in this year's competition was pretty stiff. sorry i couldn't make it to the show, my t-shirt tuxedo was at the cleaners.

until next time, stay vexy.

10:45 AM  
Blogger Granny Stance said...

today i learned that both "zoftig" and "zaftig" are correct.

does that mean I can quit learning things for the rest of the day?

12:37 PM  
Blogger HighJive said...

DraftFCB is probably working on a congratulatory ad.

You should also hold a Caples-type award that factors in response results.

Finally, the Girls Gone Wild franchise has grounds for a copyright lawsuit.

(Hey, were there any multicultural advertisers?)

1:01 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

46DD?? Shit, I've been bigger than that.

1:35 PM  
Blogger New York Punk said...

This is good. It is indeed quite hard to sell sex.

1:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

cr, no student or non-profit categories?

5:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Reminds me of the auto ads in the Friday Post Sports section.

9:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That tranny ad is THE perfect reason why people should read the copy.

2:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One more year, Mido, and you're all mine. Oh wait, I'm not gay. Damn you and your effective target marketing!

11:43 AM  

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