"I'm sorry you all suck."
New Yorkers, do you ever scan those box ads on the back page of the Village Voice? Well, you probably don't do it as obsessively as I do. I believe these ads, week-in and week-out, offer very keen insight into the state of the City. This one is from last week's paper. The number is unlisted. When you call, you get a recording of a woman telling you that this is a service "to make you feel better." You have three minutes to record whatever you want. I called identifying myself as Donny Deutsch and, instead of going into specifics (would've taken too long), I apologized for everything I've ever done. I did feel better afterwards.
update: an anon commenter says this is part of the apology project.
update: another commenter notes the typo "for for")
previously in crazy NYC:
1. NYC window displays—Zamir furs.
2. I GLOVE NEW YORK
3. The Great Wall of New York.
4. Always use black type, sweetheart.
5. President William Jefferson Clinton never looked better.