eau de ASS
OK. WHO was the first dickhead to green-light these "masculine" versions of what should have FOREVER remained feminine body sprays? This isn’t metrosexuality. This is a fucking stupid idiotic retarded product for fucking stupid idiotic retarded men. Even if your body secretions happen to smell like beer farts or pond scum: Beer Farts + Old Spice Body Spray = Merchant Ship With a Hold Full of Shit & Yeast; or, Pond Scum + Old Spice Body Spray = Dead Rotting Sailor Who Fucked a Five Dollar Whore. Which brings me to this whole Body Spray = You’ll Get Laid benefit—YES! It works. I encourage ALL you single NYC hetero men to buy these products and spray them liberally all over your mooky bodies within all your cracks and crevices because I have scientific Beta-study double-blind information that proves you’ll have women tugging gently on your spicy-smelling dicks damn near immediately—or your money back.