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The Best Fucking Ad Blogger in the World™——now writing for BuzzFeed.com. I have been an NYC advertising copywriter for 19 years. I hate capri pants. Also: advertising, PR, midtown, the Upper East Side, the Upper West Side, going to Brooklyn, NYC realtors, New York City, fake blondes, real blondes, saline implants, silicone implants, Civil War enthusiasts, Republicans, Democrats, Liberals, Conservatives, fireworks, parades, Summer, Winter, greeting cards, stuffed animals, children's drawings, religions, personal trainers, golf, golf courses, golfers, polo shirts, turtlenecks, scarves, The Yankees, Yankee fans, mooks, Streeters, iBankers, the Hamptons, Hoboken, Chicago, Texas, Florida, people who don't know how to walk in NYC, whistling, Moby, TV, Radio, Magazines, Newspapers, stand-up comedy, Improv comedy, sketch comedy, "alt" comedy, Readings, poetry slams, SUVs, PCs, drinking straws, weddings, Brunch, fondue fountains, chick peas, Starbucks coffee, journalists, screenwriters (dicks), short men (Napoleon Complexed turds), Scrabble®, people who don't hate anything. I probably at least don't care for you.
Succumb to Smooth?
posted by copyranter @ 8:43 AM
19 Comments:
Heineken Light: Now, with half the concept!
yeah, this campaign BLOWS (oops, I did it again.)
It's funny. I love clever. I love that "we" take the bait EVERY TIME!
I still can't believe how terrible this campaign is. It's Heineken's first new product launch since Amstel, and this is the best they can do?
This campaign is as watered-down as the beer
come on. you know this was your line in highschool...
And that most men have 2 testicles! That's hilarious! 2 testicles? Fucking funny.
You were kidding, right?
Shit. I hope so.
wow. the campaign might suck, but your analysis blows. seriously. what the fuck. succomb to...as in two testicles? what? i'd start over completely... try again. you're a better critic than this.
i was always told in rhetorical analysis classes that everything is intentional and deliberate.
blah blah blah blah blah blah
Yes narnia, not my best effort. But...it was easy and I was busy this morning.
mom: shut the fuck up.
How did R&R Partners not get this assignment? This campaign blows.
well, their first choice - "tastes great. less filling." was already taken...
I think you need to blow some dick soon copyranter.
American mens make me laugh too hard. HA HA Ha Ha Ha ha ha. AHHhhhh.
HA HA HA Ha Ha ha ha ha.
Two testicles. Ha. Fully grown up Azkazanistan mens possess no less than six testicles each between their legs with the seven and eight sometimes dropping down at age sixty-five. Young Azkazanistan males and some Azkazanistan women have only two testicles. HA Ha ha. Americans mens.
(How can you tell an Azkazanistan executive mens in a room full of executive mens? We never be cross our legs like other mens cross their legs like womens!
Because we have gotten so many balls. Get it? A lot of balls hanging between our legs. Balls that don't like to be squashed. Get it? HA Ha Ha ha.)
Azkazanistan travel brochure headline: Come to Azkazanistan and have a ball ... or two ... or six. HA Ha ha. Get it?
Smooth equals refreshing and refreshing equals good drinking.
Dear IDIOT...
You should be shot in the testicles and have your penis chopped into tiny pieces and then fed to you in a drink mixed with your ejaculate and 3 bottles of hot sauce. And then a mixture of alcohol and hot sauce should be poured onto your bullet wound in your testicles and onto the wound from which your penis was anesthetic-lessly chopped. Then you should be shot in the head... You racist KKK pig.
Hatefully Yours,
A Puerto Rican Spic.
Is this stuff bottled cum??
That'd be a slightly erotic ad if it made any sense to WOMEN. If it's aimed towards men seeking men only, then I see your point but otherwise, NOT!!!
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